ben-white-146950-unsplash

4 Simple Steps to Overcome Perfectionsim

Have you ever struggled with perfectionism?

How often do you feel you have to be “right” and does this actually make you feel “wrong”?

Perfectionism is the ego’s procrastination tactic and stems from fear of rejection.

It’s an old ego story that developed from a feeling of being wronged, punished, rejected or invalidated in some way.

This story inhibits the creative process which is about making changes, finding contrast, being mutable and navigating the unknown.

You learn from your experiences.

I know that when perfectionism rears its head for me, tasks that could be simple turn into laborious ones.

How much do you think you have to know before you do something?

Does it prevent you from moving forward?

What kind of pressure do you put on yourself?

When you are stuck in this loop, you lose sight of the joy of the creative process.

I love this quote from Julia Cameron, from the Artist’s Way,

Perfectionism is the opposite of humility, which allows us to move slowly and steadily forward, making and learning from our mistakes. Perfectionism says do it “right”— or not at all.

Here are 4 simple steps to transmute this story:

1) Close your eyes. Smile. Place your hands on your heart. Say to the ego, “Thank you showing me my inner work!”

2) Direct your mind to your inner child and heart. Say, “I love you. I am enough!”

3) Breathe for a few minutes into your creative center, your pelvis, and say, “I open myself up to the joy of creativity that flows through me. I desire to share my gifts from Spirit authentically. Spirit…what can I offer in service to you?” Listen.

4) Open your eyes and take action from humility.

Move through your day in wonder about what’s flowing through you.

Spirit is working through you.

Let the creative process be fun and joyous.

xo,

Nicole

P.S. Share this blog and comment. I’d love to hear from you. What processes do you use to help you transcend procrastination?

Photo credit: Ben White on Unsplash

credit-cards-you-trust-yourself

3 Steps to Develop Trust in Yourself

Trust is big word.

Do you know what it means?

In the dictionary it’s defined as a ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.’

So I looked up the word, “belief”.

In the dictionary its defined as to ‘accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of.’

So trust can be defined as, “a firm acceptance of the truth in the reliability, ability, or strength of someone (ourselves or another) or something.”

When clients come to me for healing and coachign, they admit they have a hard time trusting themselves and others.

If looking at the above definition you might ponder, what in their lives created a wavering in their reliability, ability or strength?

I say, the belief in the ego experience.

Your beliefs systems are a product of your childhood environment. You accept the opinions and attitudes of your parents, childhood friends and society. You ingest behaviors.

The ego is an artificial sense of who you are. It’s an idea based on other people’s opinions. You begin to believe this is who you are and and then think of yourself in this way.

You have a hard time accepting the truth about yourself as a reliable, strong, and powerful creator.  Yet, your true essence is Love – limitless, boundless, and free.

You believe so deeply in this Ego identity that you cannot often see your True Self.

The ego in and of itself is neither good or bad; it just is. It’s a stage in our development that serves its purpose…it needs to be progressively shed in favor of the re-emergence of our true self from the mists of childhood. ~Shefali Tsabary, PhD.

You are now witnessing the societal collective egoic programs that have been running for a long, long time that say, “you are not enough”.

You are awakening and remembering the non-dual truth of Love, yet you live in the nature of dualism, ego and lack consciousness.

You are undergoing a big shift – understanding the Divinity in all things and seeing yourself in the other.

You are beginning to understand that you have the ability to bring God intelligence into manifest.

You are witnessing that you impact “the other” greatly and that you have this innate power and intelligence inside of you.

How can you step forward into trust?

Or as defined above, change your beliefs to become ‘firm in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of yourself and the other?

This brings me to the Yoga Sutras and the concept of Kriya Yoga.

Kriya Yoga is what is said to release our suffering that is rooted in self-ignorance (ego which keeps us separate) and lead us to Self-realization/God.

Kriya Yoga is also referred to as the concept of “skill in action”.

Creating “skill in action” has three steps.

These are 3 Steps that will help you develop trust in the other and yourself:

1) Discipline/Self-Purification/Heat/Body ” – Tapas = Strength

2) Self Study/Reflection/Mind – Svadhyaya   = Reliability

3) Devotion/Surrender to God/Soul – Isvara Pranidhana = Truth

 

You can become trusting of yourself when you do your inner work.

You can show yourself how to build strength in your body, by purifying and practicing and disciplining yourself. Through a physical practices like yoga, you can start to overcome the stories and beliefs of your limited mind.

When you self-reflect, you discover reliability through making conscious choices and closing the gap on your subconscious programs through self-awareness. Yoga has been defined as bringing the subconscious to the conscious and creating union. This way you take ownership for yourself and control the monkey mind. You become aware of our reactivity, judgments, and ego and become discerning and responsible.

When you surrender to a spiritual belief system that all is Divine, Love and in Perfect Order then you release a lot of the pain and suffering that feeds the Ego of separation. When you surrender to the beauty of all as equal under the eyes of God, then you can see the truth that Love flows through you as YOU.

This is a mind-body-spirit approach to developing trust in yourself and the other.

I will share a testimonial from a client who went through my Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive integrative healing and coaching program.

This is what it feels like to develop trust in yourself!

I had no idea what to expect from this program, but I believed in Nicole and her ability to help me find whatever it was I was looking for. I needed a guide, someone who was spiritual but also successful and pragmatic in her approach to healing. I recognized all of my own potential and saw glimpses of who I could become, but felt as though I was somehow preventing myself from acting on this potential. Envisioning the life I could have made me happy, but I was depressed about feeling disconnected from the path that would guide me there. I was stuck and I needed help. My intentions for the program were vague: I wanted to be happy with my work, I wanted to accept myself as I am, and I wanted to get rid of my attachments to past experiences. Through my work with Nicole, these intentions became clear and powerful. Exploring what happiness means to me, who I am, and what experiences I was holding onto gave me a greater sense of self-awareness and a greater appreciation for the experiences of others as well. I am more accepting of myself, which naturally has led to a greater feeling of connection with and acceptance of the world around me. Once this was realized, everything else had a tendency to fall into place. This program was challenging, but I am left feeling proud of myself for taking a risk and investing in something that has essentially granted me freedom. I would recommend Nicole’s program to anyone who is looking to take back her power and move beyond whatever self-imposed barriers are keeping her from following the path that was meant for her. ~ Misa, Coaching Client