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Your Self-Improvement Guide to a Healthier Life: A Journey for Women

by Nicole's Blog


Self-improvement is crucial for women on a healing journey. It’s hard to overstate the importance of establishing a happier and healthy version of yourself and taking concrete steps toward your goals. You can expect your improvement journey to be challenging, but few things are as enriching!

This guide from Nicole Doherty is written to help you find a new direction, live fully, and thrive. We’ll discuss how to achieve your goals, establish a new career, eat healthily, and much more!

Establishing a New Business

Your career impacts your life and can significantly influence your entire healing journey. Take time to identify your interests, skills, and passions, and consider turning them into a viable business idea. You might attend online courses to acquire new skills, network with industry leaders, and devise a plan for your new venture. You can streamline the process by writing down your strengths and weaknesses. Seek out advice from close friends, family members, or business professionals who can offer insight.

Writing a business plan involves outlining your company’s objectives, defining the target market, identifying competitors, analyzing financial projections, and developing a marketing strategy to ensure long-term success. Forming an LLC offers asset protection and tax advantages, but you’ll need to create an operating agreement and name a registered agent.

After choosing a promising business idea and creating your business plan, think of how you can market your company and get off to a strong start. Digital marketing is key, but don’t underestimate the power of a good business card. Create an attractive business card that leaves a lasting impression on potential customers.

Stopping Destructive Habits

Any self-improvement journey involves addressing bad habits and negative thought patterns. A few common destructive habits include procrastination, overeating, and addiction to drugs or alcohol. Acknowledge these patterns, and reflect on the reasons behind them.

Creating a plan to break the chain of negative behavior is the next step. You may need to seek professional help, join support groups, or replace destructive habits with healthy ones. Don’t be too hard on yourself — remember that healing is a process. Celebrate small victories, and understand that every tiny step can make a difference.

Minding Your Diet

Maintaining a healthy diet can help you keep your energy levels up, boost your mood, and improve your overall health. Our bodies tend to consume nutrients differently, which is why it’s necessary to have a balanced diet. It’s vital to listen to your body’s signals and adjust your diet accordingly.

Eating enough protein, healthy carbohydrates, and heart-healthy fats is crucial for optimal wellness. You can get essential vitamins and minerals and reduce inflammation by incorporating fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into every meal.

Setting New Boundaries With People and Things

There are often people or activities we engage in that don’t serve our best interests or that trigger negative feelings. It might be time to set boundaries with those individuals and things. This could include limiting the time you spend with specific people or social media, saying “no“ to certain activities, and surrounding yourself with supportive and positive relationships.

Effective communication plays a vital role in this process. Learn to say no without feeling guilty, and prioritize self-care while establishing healthy boundaries.

Getting Better Sleep

Sleep is a critical aspect of self-improvement. Getting adequate rest ensures your mind and body function at their best. Disrupted sleep can cause low energy, poor decision-making, and overall mood changes.

Try establishing a consistent sleep schedule to improve your sleep. You may need to wind down with a relaxing activity (e.g., taking a bath, listening to an audiobook, writing in a journal). Avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and blue light for a few hours before bedtime can also help.

Conclusion

Nothing can prevent you from succeeding in your healing journey if you commit to it. Remember that self-improvement can’t happen overnight — it requires time and dedication.

Taking small steps daily toward establishing a better version of yourself is what brings true transformation. Although challenging at first, each of these strategies can help you improve your overall wellness and bring about positive life changes. You have the power to create the life you desire!

Would you like to read more helpful content or learn about my coaching services? Please visit my links here on this website or at nicoleanandacoaching.com

Image via Pexels
Article by Sean Morris
sean@learnfit.org

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Re-Parenting Emotional Vulnerability: From Weakness to Invincibility!

by Nicole's Blog

Do you ever see yourself as weak or too vulnerable? Or have you felt sorry for yourself?  

What can you do to heal this? 

I was listening to a client the other day and her story was filled with self-shame and judgement toward her emotions. Each time she would experience an uncomfortable feeling, her body would respond very specifically, and she would apologize. 

As a coach and healer, it’s my job to be a mirror to one’s experience tracking one’s subtle energy, language, and body to understand what’s being communicated. Most of our communication is non-verbal. There is so much to be learned through our experience that we are doing unconsciously.

I quickly pointed out that what she was experiencing in this narrative was the same judgment and blocks that she was experiencing in real-time in her business and her relationships.  

In her business she judges her learning process.  She claims she is incompetent when she’s doing operational stuff that’s not in her genius zone, or she shames herself and says she’s weak.

In her relationships she would shut down emotionally or disassociate.

This perpetual shaming has created low-self esteem, and a victim/martyr mentality. 

So where did this begin?

Our unconscious programming develops in our early childhood.

Typically I use an inner child guided imagery process to bring light to these core narratives. I asked my client to imagine a time in her early childhood when she first experienced these feelings (judgment or shame), so she could bring awareness to the core of it and uproot it. 

In this experience, her adult self witnessed her inner child and her response was, “I feel so sorry for her. I pity her pain.”

In this case, she remembered as a kid being taught to “buckle up” and to get over her emotions.  That her emotions were considered weak. If her emotions were present, they were blown out of proportion so she was made to apologize for them. Having emotions was pitiful and painful to her parents. She began to judge children as weak and vulnerable.  Any time she experienced discomfort, she would be shamed. She also believed that the world was a scary place as a result.

What a major a-ha!

I asked her mature adult self to guide her, to teach her about what emotions really are, how to be with them, and how to manage them. I gave her a voice and some breath tools to feel safe in her emotions and move them through her body.

This kind of process develops a trusting relationship between the inner child and the adult self. 

This process is also called “re-parenting”.

Reparenting gives the client an opportunity to create a new narrative coming from the wisdom of the Higher Self. The adult self and inner child co-create a new story built on the foundations of safety, love, and acceptance which builds trust within oneself. 

The pity she felt was the resistance, or tension that was keeping her disconnected from accessing her authentic emotions and was creating blocks in her flow.

Now, she can take ownership of the past, find forgiveness and create something new. 

In the last part of the session, we challenged her belief about her inner child being weak to feel into a new version of confidence.

Is it true that your inner child is weak?

What if the inner child were the most powerful part of you?

What if the inner child were your creative genius? 

What if the inner child was your play? 

What if your innocence was not vulnerable and weak, but vulnerable in its ability to love fully?

What if your inner child was Source within you? 

What if she were eternal and invincible? 

Would you see her differently? 

I brought out “The Sophia Code” teachings: 

“The paradoxical pearl of innocence is that its absolute vulnerability is invincible: for the guardian of innocence is its own holy, indivisible nature. Innocence cannot be bought or manipulated or torn apart. I invite those who have suffered in body and mind from the imbalances and violations of others to take courage – for your innocence can never be stolen from you.  

Your innocence remains steadfast within you, waiting for the storms to recede, safely hidden within The Rose of your heart. When you believe your innocence is damaged or even lost forever, your awareness slips into the dark insanity of suffering, the light of your Higher Self is within you, ever ready to respond to your vulnerable requests for help in remembering your innocence. Claiming your sovereignty reinstates your innocence as a gift and guide for creating a new paradigm in this world.” 

I believe that children are very strong and resilient.

It’s humans who have conditioned them to be otherwise through our own victimization and trauma.  

Would you rather see yourself as invincible, empowered, whole and loved again?  

Our culture is re-learning how to express their emotions, and teaching their kids that it’s OK to have them, feel them, process them and move into action to create a new narrative. 

If we teach that emotions are “energies-in-motion” we can find compassion for the experience of them moving through us versus being defined by them. We can learn about our needs, desires and wants through them. They are great teachers.  

At the end of our session, my client was feeling safe, seen, accepted and loved by herself.

If you’d like to build a solid relationship with your inner child, heal and feel invincible vs vulnerable, Book a chat to get more details! 

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A Workaholic’s 7 Steps To Recovery

by Nicole's Blog

I am a recovered workaholic.

I used to go-go-go.  It would take a lot for me each day to not work all morning, day and night.

I would stack appointments with no breaks, not eat, barely drink water and end my day depleted and unable to sleep. Making time for myself was unheard of.

I did everything in my power to serve and please those around me and then I’d get caught up resenting all the things I was doing. I couldn’t get out of this loop.

As a coach, I have so many women clients that fall into this category.  I hear it every day. 

One of the gifts of my program, Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive, is to turn an eye toward what is keeping you from self-care and love.

Most of what you do is unconscious.

You are programmed as a child from your parents, teachers and society. You were taught to compete, climb ladders, and please others in efforts to get more of what you wanted.

Most women like you, have a wish to provide because you grew up in the era of women moving into the workforce and being able to have more rights and opportunities.  This is wonderful, yet, what you learned was that you had to do everything you were told to “make it” and often that was at the expense of your own well being.

On top of being a career women, you may also still hold the role of the head of family household, kids, etc. So you have two jobs!

Where is your “YOU” time?

It’s time to question your motivation as a workaholic.

You probably have another unhealthy addiction called the “Rescuer” syndrome.

This is the part of you that needs to fix, save or overstep your responsibility because you can do it best. It keeps you in control of managing expectations. It feels safe.

Yet, in most cases, this is based on your childhood wounding story that says you are not good enough, worthy or important (or any other variation of not feeling heard, needed or loved.)

This is what is the motivating force behind your workaholic behavior.

Like any addiction its a habit that keeps you blind to your pain.

Unfortunately, you can no longer hide.  The gig is up!

One of my core wounds from childhood was feeling unheard, unseen and disregarded.  My parents were classic workaholics filled with pain.  In fact, most of my memories of them they were talking about work, constantly fighting and I didn’t feel seen at all. I was forced to study things I wasn’t interested in. I was living the life they wanted because it suited them. I felt like I wasn’t taken seriously.

As I got older, I fell into the same coping strategies that my parents did. I was so unhappy, depleted and unsure of what I was doing in Corporate America.

It was not at all aligned with my passions or purpose.

Then, my dad died. It took this huge weight off my shoulders to be honest. Although I love him and miss him every day, I finally was able to give myself permission to do what I wanted to do!

I went on my journey of self-realization. 😉

When my son was born, even though I’m a single mom, I was determined to find a way to be able to be present for Yeshua.

I created a salary for myself that supports my son, my lifestyle and leaves me afternoons to play with him daily – all available to me because I MADE MYSELF FIRST PRIORITY.

As a Yogi, Healer, Coach and Recovered Workaholic I know that when I am happy, everyone around me benefits.

I know that as I heal and do the inner work to love myself, I create healthier discipline, self-care and boundaries.

Here are my 5 Steps to Recovery:

1 – Stay true to a spiritual practice. My practice keeps me present, grounded and calm.  I meditate and do yoga every day.

As a single mom this means getting up at 5:30am in the morning and just doing it. No excuses.  It’s my connection to Source that keeps me sane, on my path, receiving downloads, channeling new ideas, giving gratitude and practicing my inner healing work.

2 – Move your Energy + Eat Well.  Every day do something to move your body and your energy and feed it with good life force energy (living foods). We get very stuck in our energy bodies.  This type of congestion lowers your vibration and keeps feeling stuck, undernourished and dead on the inside. Move your energy and feed it good fuel to heal, feel more relaxed and get back into balance.

3 – Get Outside. Be in Nature.  When you are in Nature you are reminded that life is bigger than you and your problems. You start to realize that there is more to life. There is a grander Divine plan.  I get outside every day at least once to take in fresh air and reset my nervous system.

4 – Time management.  I’m really disciplined with my time. I schedule everything and I give leeway to let things move around as Source is co-creating with me!  I know where my day is going with intention and I take major actions every day.  During Yeshua’s time I plan nothing all afternoon so I can in play and be present with him.

5- Prioritize.  I utilize my time based on my priorities.  I know what are THE MOST important few things to handle each day. I leave the rest to my ‘future’ list.  I do have catch up days every so often, and will sometimes get babysitters to do handle them.

6 – Be Responsible + Manage Expectations . This is about being in integrity with myself and others. I am in the practice of not committing to things that I am not feeling responsible for. This is part of not rescuing. I can be generous, but if I feel like I am starting to resent, I know I’ve taken on too much. I am only responsible for what I know I can manage.  As best I can, I also let others know when they can expect results or actions from me.  When people are communicated with in a healthy way, its healthier for everyone.

7 – Email/Social Media.  This one is the hardest, but I have recently re-adapted Tim Ferris’ 4 Hour workweek idea.  I only check email 3 times per day.   We lose so much time wasting it on endless checking and re-checking  between social media and email.  Check 3 times a day, that’s it.  The world does not fall apart and you don’t get stuck down the rabbit hole.

I recently had a client adopt the mantra: I am more powerful than my phone. She gave up social media after she returned home from work at 8pm. Not only did she have time to talk to her kids, but she finally went to bed with her husband each night! A huge leap in her intimacy and personal relationships. She also slept way better and was more productive at work.

Nicole Doherty Certified Yoga Teacher Instructor

You can recover.

It may feel counter-intuitive to give up things in efforts to be more productive, but research shows that productivity increases when we take care of ourselves.

Living a balanced lifestyle is totally achievable.

Having a self-care and self-love practice is imperative to your well-being and is appreciated by your body-mind and everyone around you.

Reach out if you need help recovering!

Blessings,

xo Nicole

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Vulnerability + Bridging the Gap For Self-Love

by Nicole's Blog

In this very moment as I write, I’m in a healing process that feels extremely vulnerable.

I wanted to share this because it came up twice today with my clients when we were talking about victim, shame, self-punishment, vulnerability, forgiveness and power. They found it very valuable for them as a way of leaning into their healing process for self-love.

As a yogi, trauma-informed intuitive healer and coach, I have been in the depths of shadow work learning how to create empowered ways to shift my perceptions and awareness in life. I’ve been a seeker in understanding the mind and the heart, and the pathway in between.

Today, I’m taking myself on a transformational shamanic healing journey that I know can move me through this event that just happened that triggered this shame spiral within me.

I share this as an example and small sliver of how I journey with my clients in efforts to illustrate an understanding of what I call “bridging the gap between the subconscious and conscious mind” so that my clients and I can step more fully into our power, present moment awareness and practice the art of vulnerability.

The subconscious mind harbors our core wounds from childhood, or any events in our past that may still be unresolved or need deeper forgiveness.

In one of my first moments of separation, or pain, my little self spun a narrative that became the root belief system I have about myself. This story is a core wound or inner child story, or in some sciences called the ‘victim’ story.

In this example, I was triggered over the weekend into my core wound through the most elevating experience I’ve had in quite sometime, ironically. I was at an incredible wedding for a couple I adore with some of my best friends in this world.

Yet as I got off the plane to go home, I felt the little girl inside of me rise up in a mini tantrum. I say mini thankfully because they used to be HUGE. LOL.

My conscious mind was just over the moon with joy, love and ecstatic dance and play.

My subconscious mind got stuck in my core wound story with my dad. “I’m abandoned. I’m not seen. I’m not important or good enough. No one loves me.” All the happy couples I watched enjoy their time that day triggered this response within me. Emotions came to the surface for healing.

The development of this ego story is an entirely other article, but what’s important now is how powerfully I can track my ego, say hello to this old story, and welcome the little girl and her pain from that originating experience into my arms.

When the originating trauma event occurred for me, I had deep emotions around it.

Today my little girl reflects those and feels vulnerable, tender and sad. She feels unloved and confused. I see the trauma moment in my mind’s eye and the feelings of abandonment and loneliness.

I hear the “I’m not good enough to deserve love” story that rears its head to self-sabotage, punish or perpetuate the story that “no one will marry me, or love me like that.”

What I used to do was shut these feelings down. Like most of us, I would shame and punish myself for having them. I would want to be ‘good’ and ‘positive’ so I would try to stop thinking about it and shove them further down.

Then, I would find myself in isolation; overworking or doing any of the myriads of coping behaviors I’ve strategically created to not feel pain. My addictive behaviors would show up to avoid and distract (eating, watching videos, etc.) and help me forget again.

Let me tell you something.

If emotions that are felt are not met, seen, acknowledged, heard or processed in real time, we hold on to them like a security blanket and develop more generalized belief systems and stories about others, relationships and the world that stem from that pain.

We call these unconscious patterns, which in turn become unconscious behaviors.

The crux of healing from this humble soul who writes this is getting to the core of the emotional root of our traumas so we can learn to forgive, heal and step more fully into understanding, awareness, perception, intimacy, vulnerability and our voice.

If we can speak forward and lean into what needs to be said and find a way to be honest and true, instead of pushing things under the rug out of fear of rejection and weakness, then we learn vulnerability, courage and compassion.

Triggers are always an opportunity to heal, understand, and love.

So today, instead of pushing my little girl to the side, I invited her into my Higher Love, support and voice. I hugged her with tenderness and care. I decided not to overwork and instead journal, emote and let go.

I practiced the art of surrender to the beauty of this Divine plan. I felt her. I adored her. I played and prayed with her. I became present to her needs for attention, care and acceptance. And, I forgave myself for holding on so tightly to this narrative.

I forgave my dad for he knew not what he did back then. To him (and understanding as a parent now) this incident probably would have been so minor; yet, I took it so personally. I practiced understanding and compassion for he knew not the impact of this experience. I sent him deep love.

When we understand the above process and begin to see everyone through the lens of Source, we can shift our perception. It’s important to realize that we are not alone. We all carry core wounds, beliefs and perceptions. We all have pain and suffering. We all deal with these stories and narratives.

When we practice tracking the ego and stories this is what it means to bridge the gap between the subconscious and the conscious mind.

This is how we learn the art of vulnerability. Vulnerability is when we risk stepping into the fire of the unknown, challenge our perceptions, and expose our raw emotions for healing. As Brene Brown tells us in the Call to Courage, vulnerability is courage. They walk hand-in-hand.

Benefits of doing this inner healing work are:
• Practicing ahimsa, or non-violence – not projecting your stuff onto others
• Reducing the time you are affected by the flow of your emotions
• Being responsible for your life, so that you can manifest and create
• Learning to speak and express your needs from a place of power and love vs pain
• Minimizing your downtime away from your passions, purpose and power
• Feeling abundant and in love with yourself and others

I’ll invite you to see what behaviors and belief systems you want to change and reverse engineer your life for healing. This is the transformational process of healing that will help you unleash your power and bring you into presence.

Just as you can heal your past, you can change your future. It’s all a matter of getting present to what is happening now and learning to resource support. It’s an opportunity to trust yourself and create safety through connecting your Highest Self with your Inner Child and bringing yourself back to Innocence, Wholeness and Sacred Union with the Divine.

This is the journey from the head into the heart. This is what creates great strength and compassion. This is the process of awakening to Divine Love.

Many blessings dear one on your healing path!

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How to Love

by Nicole's Blog

by Alan Waugh, Sacred Valley Spiritual Retreat

This powerful sculpture entitled ‘LOVE’ and otherwise known as ‘Inner Child’ evokes the innocent child within us wanting to reach out and connect with the innocent, inner child within our partner.

It is symbolic of the deep yearning within us to connect with the core essence of our mate, despite the challenges and conflict that are so prevalent in miscommunication through projection or unrealized expectations.

It is a beautiful homage to that which lies within our own divine essence that is at its core our innate nature, wishing to touch the innate nature of our partner and ultimately all beings.

How many times have you had conflict with your partner, felt hurt, not seen nor heard, validated nor acknowledged? In those moments, have you wished to make it all right, forgive and let go of what appears to be so inconsequential or petty and yet has triggered you so strongly? In those times have you then turned away from your partner in anger and fear where you are pushed into a place of distrust or of not feeling safe?

How many times in those painful moments have you accepted responsibility for the miscommunication or even non- communication of your feelings or reactions before you quickly moved into the fight or flight mode, just wanting to get away, hide or even smash something? Probably not too many!

The sculpture ‘LOVE’ could also have been presented in a different way, in that it is really the Inner Child that is turning away, with the ‘parenting couple’ facing each other. Appropriately rigid and tense in their metallic form, they put an energetic guard, not just around their outer body but ultimately around their hearts, like a suit of armor to protect from all the perceived energetic and emotional arrows being shot at them via ill-placed words, actions or even critical looks.

It is the child within our sub-conscious self that that holds all the woundings and conditioning manifesting in our adult self that gets triggered and sends the message that we are in a place of conflict/ fear/un-safety.

Why would you respond with such a strong reaction with something that could be as petty as your partner saying that they are going out for a drink with their friends? Ultimately your partner just wants to go out with friends. But maybe your inner child is tapping into deep feelings of abandonment that happened as you were taken straight from birth to an incubator?

Or maybe because your Father left the family house when you were two? It is the deeply held unresolved memory of past experiences that hold most of the emotional/ mental or physical triggers for you that caused the present day reaction and not the fact that your partner was planning on abandoning you? Or maybe it is a past memory that somehow you believed that you are not good enough? So your partner going out without inviting you, triggers this inner belief or conditioned response that sends a wave of deep cellular patterning to create the re-action that your body/mind still believes?

Another term for this inner child within each of this is the Shadow Self. The very fact that they are referred to as ‘Shadows’ invokes the belief that they somehow are to be feared because they lie in wait for us hidden in the dark: unseen, unacknowledged nor cared for.

How can we be in Sacred/Conscious relationship unless we take care of all that is held within our sub-conscious experience that holds the limiting beliefs about ourselves, that we project onto the world outside ourselves?

Maybe you have more or less managed to create a safe container within your epidermal layer, that as long as you can live the life you believe to be authentically you, you can live a life of a form of inner peace. But what happens if one or some of those past traumatic or limiting beliefs get triggered by something that someone outside of yourself says or does, that seems like a hurtful gesture or action?

Guess what, that wounding that holds a personality with an associated inner voice kicks you and says “See, you’re not good enough! You will never be able to do that! You’re not pretty enough, they are going to leave you!”

So then what you do is push the responsibility for your pain or neurotic response onto the person that you feel caused that inner feeling of discomfort. “It’s their fault I feel that way!”

So in relationship work with another, the only way to release projections or blame on the ‘other’ is to accept accountability for the source of that blame. Yes, its good to learn communication processes through couples counseling and to better understand what hurts or displease your partner. But unless you learn to develop a better more loving, supportive and nurturing relationship with yourself, to yourself, nothing ultimately will change at the core.

Here at The Sacred Valley Spiritual Retreat, our skill-full facilitators help you gain incite into the originating cause of your triggers and conditioning and through a variety of powerful and transformative techniques, help you love that wounded child within you, that is the source of all love and help bring it out from the shadows.

This is the path of self mastery that the sages and gurus from ancient times teach as the path to inner peace. Maybe now, see the illuminated child in the above photo as an illumination of your heart center.

Look at it.

It is only through shining light into yourself that you can illuminate your capacity to fully love.

Big Love.

Sculpture By Ukrainian Artist Alexander Milov for 2015 Burning Ma Installation