When I (blank) then... • Nicole Doherty Ananda

How is it that we can make up so many excuses for when we will actually live our lives? I’ll travel when I’m wealthy. I’ll write that book when I have time. I’ll have a baby when I find the perfect relationship. I will be happy when I get this promotion.

“When I (blank) then” is a great excuse for not doing something we may really want to do. Or maybe in fact we are choosing not to do those things because they aren’t our priority or in our alignment, so let them go.

My friend Deirdra Martinez of the Uplift Movement always inspires me. I joined her “Conscious Collective” group recently to be associated with a group of like-minded souls who are truly up to greatness and upliftment in this world. We are all life coaching each other into living our dreams and potentials.

In this group, my goal is to write a book. As a new mom, I find myself strapped for time and having to adjust to managing my full time work schedule with being present with my newborn baby.

My excuse time and time again each week at check in is that I have absolutely no time to do this. In essence, it is very true that I have less time than before, but if I had the time would I be writing my book or creating other excuses?

What I find most interesting for me in being part of this group are the games that I play with my mind. It has been a very interesting inquiry.

Do I want to write this book?

The answer is yes, however, I keep saying, “I will write this book when I have time.” Does the time ever come?

If I’m being authentic, the book is not my biggest priority now,

like it was when I started the group. My son is my number one interest. And knowing how fleeting this time with him (as a baby) is, instead of admitting that the book isn’t my biggest priority currently, I keep using the excuse “I just don’t have enough time”. I don’t want to let people down either.

What I also realized in this inquiry is that I could be more creative with my time.

For example, in the car I have much wasted time here in LA. I’m in the car several hours a day commuting. During my drives, I’d listen to the radio or CD or make phone calls. These are all well and good activities, but if I plan to write a book, I could be creative and voice record my book on an app and then transcribe it later – thank you Deirdra for this idea! I have been doing this several times now and have received about 20 pages of transcriptions back. In actuality my book is being written, verbally!

The deeper layer of the procrastination on my book too is the fear around whether or not the subject will be of interest or if anyone will care. Or if I can organize my thoughts. Will spending all this time be a waste in the end?

This group coaching experience has given me cause to look all around my life for other excuses. If I really want to do something, can I make it work? Or maybe that thing just isn’t my priority anymore and I need to be more upfront, authentic and honest with others and myself. I need to release the “should do this” script which is about disappointing people and meeting expectations.

What have I learned?

If you want to do something that’s in alignment, look for all they ways that it can happen. Be creative. And if it’s not in alignment, then let it go. Be honest. Let go of the scripts that cause you to look outside yourself for answers. Go within.