My journey to fully loving myself

Last month I revealed the depth of my grief, sadness, anger and pain. If you missed my blog, you can read it here.

I was recently told by an INCREDIBLE intuitive/astrologer/next level healer, James Hopson of Inspiring Health, that in my chart this is my biggest year for deep introspective and breakthrough healing work. Everything is pointing to this being a FULL YEAR’s worth of work. It’s like a Dark Night of the Soul time for me, and I have the BRIGHTEST torch, Yeshua, lighting the way.  My God, thank you!

This is all AWESOME on so many levels. I don’t shy away from this work in fact, I know – and what is continually being confirmed for me – is that this is the Heroine’s journey and its a journey of Self-Love. It’s an opportunity to fully dive into the core of my wounds, self-criticism and judgement. With compassion I must learn to hold my darkness with pure love, feel all my pain, and fully embrace and accept it all.  I am being challenged to face all my patterns that I thought were resolved around my childhood that couldn’t have been revealed fully until I became a parent.

I’ve been neglecting myself ever since I had Yeshua too on all levels, redirecting all my focus to him and having little help and time for me. After a few odd health situations as of late, I recognized how depleted and unwell I really am. I asked for help and Spirit delivered me a team of healers to my doorstep!

I’m finding out what my system has beneath the surface that could manifest in 5 – 10 years through the coolest biofeedback technology. In combination, Bill Quateman of Advanced BioCell is helping me to re-balance all my body’s systems, boost my immune system, re-calibrate all my minerals/vitamins and detox heavy metals. I get to re-set my system after my birth.  It’s the most insanely cool stuff!

Aside from that I’m working on sexual & womb healing with the most amazing pleasure coach, Violet Lange.  She’s also a survivor of sexual abuse and helps women to create passionate sex and intimate connection for incredible love! I’m doing this work to more fully embody my feminine, heal my womb post-partum, and have a deep felt sense of my Divine Feminine essence.

I am ready to let go of the remnants of shame, pain, self-hatred and judgement that maybe still lingering in the corners of my being that limit me in many areas of my life from finances to relationships. I am playing the role of the wounded healer in this moment to challenge myself to be vulnerable and open about all of it, as ugly as it may be.  I know that being open to this will be for the Greater Good and this will be the Surrender that I need to find that path to wholeness and sovereignty.

I plan to be softer.  I want to yield to my pain and emotions. I want to explore my dark side and learn to really love it and digest it. A lot of this work is actually ancestral cleanup. I know I’m doing the work for my parents and theirs. And I’m ready for that too and open to receive its lessons.

Come with me on my journey if it’s time for you to air your dirty laundry. Or, if it hurts to hold on to secrets, lies and illusions. It’s time for authenticity, truth, and accountability. It’s time for real love – to fully LOVE who you truly are – and love all your perceived flaws and limits.

I saw a great transformational speaker today, Barbara DeAngelis, and her talk was about stepping into the Temple of Love.  Her closing questions were these:

How can I bring more Love to _(insert any situation or person)?

How can I serve  _(this situation or person)_with more love?

So for now my insert will be me, Nicole.

And we’ll go from there.

P.S.You can watch my recent videos about my path HERE