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Finding your Passion, Power & Purpose with Nicole Ananda

by Nicole's BlogPodcast

I hope you enjoy this interview with Arin Fugate on the Jasmine & Juniper Podcast. Arin and I share similar messages to empower woman to turn pain into power & purpose! 

 

LISTEN NOW

 

I am grateful to share my own personal story and reflect on this message to inspire other woman to heal and transform their lives!

FROM SPOTIFY…
“We’re diving into a topic that hits close to home for many of us: the eternal struggle between chasing our dreams and living up to the expectations society tosses our way.

Nicole’s journey is relatable to many of us. She took a leap of faith, swapping her corporate gig for the path of a healer. How’d she do it, you ask?

Well, she’s all about blending Western psychology with some Eastern wisdom, specifically those mystical Koshas from the world of yoga. 

Turns out, the real magic starts when you get comfortable with your true self and understand the beautiful mess that makes you, well, you.

Have you ever felt like you’re in a tug-of-war between what everyone expects and what you truly desire? Nicole’s been there, done that, and she’s here to spill the relatable beans on her own journey.

I was excited to dive into something intriguing: shadow work. Ever heard of it? It’s all about confronting the parts of yourself that you usually keep locked in a box. Nicole’s a pro at this, and she’ll tell you why it’s a game-changer. 

Shedding light on those hidden fears and doubts can lead to some powerful transformations and help you grab life by the horns.

Nicole’s got some golden nuggets on balance, too. Her message?

True happiness lies in finding an equilibrium between your inner yin and yang. When you’ve got both the strength and emotional connection working for you, that’s when life really starts to pop.

So here’s the tea, friends: Embrace your multifaceted self. We’re all a bunch of different layers, so let’s celebrate the whole package.

Don’t be afraid of your shadow – it’s got some pretty cool secrets to share. By doing so, you can kick self-sabotage, ditch the victim mentality, and wave goodbye to those pesky limiting beliefs.

And last but not least, find that sweet spot between strength and emotional connection. That, my friends, is the secret sauce for a life that’s not just ordinary but extraordinary.

So go on, embrace your complexity, and let’s start living our best, most authentic lives!”

YOU CAN LISTEN HERE

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Your Self-Improvement Guide to a Healthier Life: A Journey for Women

by Nicole's Blog


Self-improvement is crucial for women on a healing journey. It’s hard to overstate the importance of establishing a happier and healthy version of yourself and taking concrete steps toward your goals. You can expect your improvement journey to be challenging, but few things are as enriching!

This guide from Nicole Doherty is written to help you find a new direction, live fully, and thrive. We’ll discuss how to achieve your goals, establish a new career, eat healthily, and much more!

Establishing a New Business

Your career impacts your life and can significantly influence your entire healing journey. Take time to identify your interests, skills, and passions, and consider turning them into a viable business idea. You might attend online courses to acquire new skills, network with industry leaders, and devise a plan for your new venture. You can streamline the process by writing down your strengths and weaknesses. Seek out advice from close friends, family members, or business professionals who can offer insight.

Writing a business plan involves outlining your company’s objectives, defining the target market, identifying competitors, analyzing financial projections, and developing a marketing strategy to ensure long-term success. Forming an LLC offers asset protection and tax advantages, but you’ll need to create an operating agreement and name a registered agent.

After choosing a promising business idea and creating your business plan, think of how you can market your company and get off to a strong start. Digital marketing is key, but don’t underestimate the power of a good business card. Create an attractive business card that leaves a lasting impression on potential customers.

Stopping Destructive Habits

Any self-improvement journey involves addressing bad habits and negative thought patterns. A few common destructive habits include procrastination, overeating, and addiction to drugs or alcohol. Acknowledge these patterns, and reflect on the reasons behind them.

Creating a plan to break the chain of negative behavior is the next step. You may need to seek professional help, join support groups, or replace destructive habits with healthy ones. Don’t be too hard on yourself — remember that healing is a process. Celebrate small victories, and understand that every tiny step can make a difference.

Minding Your Diet

Maintaining a healthy diet can help you keep your energy levels up, boost your mood, and improve your overall health. Our bodies tend to consume nutrients differently, which is why it’s necessary to have a balanced diet. It’s vital to listen to your body’s signals and adjust your diet accordingly.

Eating enough protein, healthy carbohydrates, and heart-healthy fats is crucial for optimal wellness. You can get essential vitamins and minerals and reduce inflammation by incorporating fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into every meal.

Setting New Boundaries With People and Things

There are often people or activities we engage in that don’t serve our best interests or that trigger negative feelings. It might be time to set boundaries with those individuals and things. This could include limiting the time you spend with specific people or social media, saying “no“ to certain activities, and surrounding yourself with supportive and positive relationships.

Effective communication plays a vital role in this process. Learn to say no without feeling guilty, and prioritize self-care while establishing healthy boundaries.

Getting Better Sleep

Sleep is a critical aspect of self-improvement. Getting adequate rest ensures your mind and body function at their best. Disrupted sleep can cause low energy, poor decision-making, and overall mood changes.

Try establishing a consistent sleep schedule to improve your sleep. You may need to wind down with a relaxing activity (e.g., taking a bath, listening to an audiobook, writing in a journal). Avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and blue light for a few hours before bedtime can also help.

Conclusion

Nothing can prevent you from succeeding in your healing journey if you commit to it. Remember that self-improvement can’t happen overnight — it requires time and dedication.

Taking small steps daily toward establishing a better version of yourself is what brings true transformation. Although challenging at first, each of these strategies can help you improve your overall wellness and bring about positive life changes. You have the power to create the life you desire!

Would you like to read more helpful content or learn about my coaching services? Please visit my links here on this website or at nicoleanandacoaching.com

Image via Pexels
Article by Sean Morris
sean@learnfit.org

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Building a Strong Foundation: The Power of Open Communication in Relationships

by Nicole's Blog

When it comes to committed relationships, making agreements is crucial. However, not all agreements are created equal. Some may seem like an escape, leaving our partners feeling unworthy of a deeper commitment. But why settle for a limited agreement when we can aim for something greater?

 

Recently, a relationship coach colleague shared an agreement that some couples make: “I agree to tell you if there is someone else I am interested in romantically.” While this agreement may seem like a step in the right direction, it is not enough to create a truly secure and committed relationship.

 

In fact, this agreement can be seen as an escape, suggesting that the partner is not worth making a more significant commitment to. A limited agreement like this can make it challenging for emotionally available people to feel truly secure in the relationship. Emotional availability and security are essential for building strong connections and a stable relationship foundation.

 

Many people struggle with emotional unavailability, which makes it difficult for them to fully commit to a relationship. Avoidance, or what I call “having a back door” or “a backup plan,” is rooted in fear of rejection, fear of being alone, and fear of vulnerability. Your partner can feel this lack of commitment energetically, even if they can’t express it. It can create a sense of unease in the relationship that undermines its stability.

 

Emotional well-being is crucial to create a secure and genuine connection. We need to take responsibility for our emotional health to build stronger relationships. By doing the inner work necessary to become emotionally available and secure, we can show up more fully for our partners.

 

When my colleague asked me, “what commitment or agreement can couples make to feel truly committed”. My response was simple: “Commit to open and honest communication. Have a commitment to talk about anything that arises in real-time that causes separation and can help partners be vulnerable, share their thoughts and feelings.” 

 

This approach limits feelings of disharmony within and encourages both partners to address any challenges that arise in the relationship promptly and constructively. Over time, this kind of communication builds trust and security in the relationship.

 

In the end, making commitments and agreements in a committed relationship is essential. We need to take personal responsibility for our emotional health and commit to open and honest connective communication to build genuine relationships that stand the test of time. 

 

xo,

Nicole

 

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How to Receive Feedback in a Partnership without Getting Defensive😫

by Nicole's Blog

Receiving feedback in a partnership can be challenging when it’s constructive criticism or if it challenges the beliefs or behaviors that are so ingrained in us.

Over the years, I have become aware of how I’ve tiptoed around partners who were reactive and how I shut down my voice and body out of fear of their reactions to my feedback.

I have noticed through my relationships the ways that I might unconsciously defend my position to cope with feelings like I’m being criticized, attacked or that I’m wrong.

The beauty of working on your communication in your relationship is to shed light on these unconscious shadow behaviors and to bring more authenticity, intimacy and transparency to your life. Even though it may be hard to hear feedback, it’s vital to any healthy relationship.

Recently I’ve been working with a few clients to become more aware of their bodies when they receive feedback, so they can become more aware of their defensiveness.

Here are signs that you are getting defensive when receiving feedback:.

1. When you’re feeling defensive, you may feel a sense of anger or frustration, even if the feedback you’re receiving isn’t necessarily negative. When you are in this fight, flight or freeze response you are gearing up for attack you probably are not fully listening to your partner.

2. If you shut down or withdraw from the conversation you may feel overwhelmed or unable to cope with the feedback you’re receiving.

3. When you are interrupting the other person you’re defending yourself or your actions before the other person finishes speaking.

4. If there is a denial of responsibility for your actions or you are quick to blame others, this is because you are trying to avoid feeling at fault or taking responsibility for your actions.

5. If you are making excuses for your behavior or action, you may be trying to justify your behavior instead of accepting the feedback.

When you feel yourself getting defensive, take a deep breath and focus on your breath for a few moments and slow down.

Notice the sensations that are coming to the surface. Focus on the sensations in your body, such as the feeling of your feet on the ground or your breath moving in and out of your body. This can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the intensity of your defensive reaction.

When your partner is giving you feedback, make sure you listen actively without interrupting. It’s even helpful to repeat what they’re saying back to them to ensure that you’ve understood their perspective correctly.

Validate your partner’s feelings and perspective, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them by letting them know that you hear their concerns and show that you’re willing to consider their feedback. This will show that you’re taking their feedback seriously and want to fully understand their perspective.

When you respond to your partner, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, “I’m having trouble understanding your perspective.” Or thank you, “I have another perspective you might consider.” This can help you both express your feelings without putting your partner on the defensive or projecting something onto him/her.

Receiving feedback and working on defensiveness in a partnership is vital for any healthy relationship. By practicing active listening, acknowledging your partner’s perspective, asking for clarification, taking breaks if needed, practicing self-awareness, and being open to growth and change, you can receive feedback in a constructive and positive way!

xo,
Nicole

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The People-Pleasing Parenting Trap: How Our Own Need for Approval Can Create Narcissistic Children

by Nicole's Blog

I grew up with parents who felt they had to hide many things about themselves out of fear of being rejected and to maintain a certain societal status. I remember my father and mother exaggerating and telling lies and feeling very confused by this.

Over time, I adopted the same fears and I became a people pleaser because I felt similarly that getting others’ approval was the most important thing to do in any relationship over my own truth and needs.

When I became a parent, I was faced with the awareness of this shadow of mine. I became the enabler in my relationship dynamic in order to cover up the inherent problems that I was facing to maintain the happy appearance of new motherhood which led to a lot of resentments.

I have worked really hard to heal this aspect of myself since I had read “The Conscious Parent” book because the last thing I wanted do was create this same shadow with my child which could create the narcissistic qualities that I found my relationship and witnessed with other friends’ partners.

Many of these men were raised with passive parents who steered their whole lives around their children and came from abusive backgrounds themselves. They overcompensated to the degree that it was detrimental to their boys.

Dr. Shefali says, “Children who are raised by parents who sidestep their authenticity camouflaging their true feelings for the sake of fitting in, learn to emulate this phony way of living, watching us try to gain the approval of others, they become people pleasers, catering to the needs of others for the sake of approval.

When our children see us placed the needs of others before our own, they learn that they are to value others more than themselves. because they are highly oriented towards relationships they also base their sense of identity on their relationships but beneath such an authentic service of others, lies a simmering resentment since no one can sustain such giving, unless they have first given to themselves period.

When we please others to gain their approval, we may also begin to please our children seeking their approval we cater inordinately to their needs instead of teaching them to take care of their own needs, over indulging them, we send them a message that it’s okay to take advantage of us out of our own low self sense of self worth. We allow them to imagine themselves as the center of our world, which is an emotionally unhealthy, obsessive way of attempting to assuage our own lack. It’s also a recipe for bringing up narcissists who imagine the world just revolves around them. When we are unable to create healthy boundaries for ourselves.

Our children learn to disrespect the boundaries of others, observing us fail to claim ownership of our space and our needs. They come to believe their space and their needs are more important than those of the others because we constantly give to them without saying no.

When appropriate, they fail to learn the importance of accepting that life itself sometimes says no to us, consequently, they develop a grandiose sense of themselves.”

As parents, it is our responsibility to break the cycle of people-pleasing and create a conscious parenting approach. We must learn to prioritize our own needs and boundaries, while also teaching our children to do the same. By modeling authenticity and self-care, we can help our children develop a healthy sense of self-worth and respect for others.

It may not be easy, but it is worth the effort to create a more balanced and fulfilling family dynamic.

Xo
Nicole