Do you ever see yourself as weak or too vulnerable? Or have you felt sorry for yourself?
What can you do to heal this?
I was listening to a client the other day and her story was filled with self-shame and judgement toward her emotions. Each time she would experience an uncomfortable feeling, her body would respond very specifically, and she would apologize.
As a coach and healer, it’s my job to be a mirror to one’s experience tracking one’s subtle energy, language, and body to understand what’s being communicated. Most of our communication is non-verbal. There is so much to be learned through our experience that we are doing unconsciously.
I quickly pointed out that what she was experiencing in this narrative was the same judgment and blocks that she was experiencing in real-time in her business and her relationships.
In her business she judges her learning process. She claims she is incompetent when she’s doing operational stuff that’s not in her genius zone, or she shames herself and says she’s weak.
In her relationships she would shut down emotionally or disassociate.
This perpetual shaming has created low-self esteem, and a victim/martyr mentality.
So where did this begin?
Our unconscious programming develops in our early childhood.
Typically I use an inner child guided imagery process to bring light to these core narratives. I asked my client to imagine a time in her early childhood when she first experienced these feelings (judgment or shame), so she could bring awareness to the core of it and uproot it.
In this experience, her adult self witnessed her inner child and her response was, “I feel so sorry for her. I pity her pain.”
In this case, she remembered as a kid being taught to “buckle up” and to get over her emotions. That her emotions were considered weak. If her emotions were present, they were blown out of proportion so she was made to apologize for them. Having emotions was pitiful and painful to her parents. She began to judge children as weak and vulnerable. Any time she experienced discomfort, she would be shamed. She also believed that the world was a scary place as a result.
What a major a-ha!
I asked her mature adult self to guide her, to teach her about what emotions really are, how to be with them, and how to manage them. I gave her a voice and some breath tools to feel safe in her emotions and move them through her body.
This kind of process develops a trusting relationship between the inner child and the adult self.
This process is also called “re-parenting”.
Reparenting gives the client an opportunity to create a new narrative coming from the wisdom of the Higher Self. The adult self and inner child co-create a new story built on the foundations of safety, love, and acceptance which builds trust within oneself.
The pity she felt was the resistance, or tension that was keeping her disconnected from accessing her authentic emotions and was creating blocks in her flow.
Now, she can take ownership of the past, find forgiveness and create something new.
In the last part of the session, we challenged her belief about her inner child being weak to feel into a new version of confidence.
Is it true that your inner child is weak?
What if the inner child were the most powerful part of you?
What if the inner child were your creative genius?
What if the inner child was your play?
What if your innocence was not vulnerable and weak, but vulnerable in its ability to love fully?
What if your inner child was Source within you?
What if she were eternal and invincible?
Would you see her differently?
I brought out “The Sophia Code” teachings:
“The paradoxical pearl of innocence is that its absolute vulnerability is invincible: for the guardian of innocence is its own holy, indivisible nature. Innocence cannot be bought or manipulated or torn apart. I invite those who have suffered in body and mind from the imbalances and violations of others to take courage – for your innocence can never be stolen from you.
Your innocence remains steadfast within you, waiting for the storms to recede, safely hidden within The Rose of your heart. When you believe your innocence is damaged or even lost forever, your awareness slips into the dark insanity of suffering, the light of your Higher Self is within you, ever ready to respond to your vulnerable requests for help in remembering your innocence. Claiming your sovereignty reinstates your innocence as a gift and guide for creating a new paradigm in this world.”
I believe that children are very strong and resilient.
It’s humans who have conditioned them to be otherwise through our own victimization and trauma.
Would you rather see yourself as invincible, empowered, whole and loved again?
Our culture is re-learning how to express their emotions, and teaching their kids that it’s OK to have them, feel them, process them and move into action to create a new narrative.
If we teach that emotions are “energies-in-motion” we can find compassion for the experience of them moving through us versus being defined by them. We can learn about our needs, desires and wants through them. They are great teachers.
At the end of our session, my client was feeling safe, seen, accepted and loved by herself.
If you’d like to build a solid relationship with your inner child, heal and feel invincible vs vulnerable, Book a chat to get more details!