I can say from direct experience in my own life and from working with so many life coaching clients, that these are the biggest obstacles to our happiness:
1) Being Overworked
2) Stress/Anxiety
3) Perceived Pressures (abstract & mind created – not enough time, family expectations, societal pressure, etc.)
These experiences become obstacles to our happiness because they create:
1) Fear
2) Life Imbalances
2) Lack of Fulfillment
3) Health Issues – Physical/Fatigue/Insomnia
4) Dysfunctional Relationships
Here are 6 tips that I have found to be helpful in transmuting these obstacles and thus create real change in our lives:
1) Increased Self-Care/12:12 Rule
Ensure you are engaging at least a few times a week in some sort of practice that is just for you that helps you to release pressure, stress, and anxiety. For example: yoga, meditation, running, eating well, and sleeping more and better. If you can’t figure out how to get to find the time for this enlist an accountability partner – a friend, coach, mentor or trainer. Someone who does this well.
There is a rule called the 12:12 Rule. 12 Hours of Input = 12 Hours of Output. If we have 24 hours in a day, allow yourself to be fed and nourished in 12 of them, thus your output is productive and impassioned. For input, sleep is part of the 12 hours and the other 4 are for self-care/fun/passion. For output, you have 12 hours of energy expenditure to the human experience as service. If you do your inner work than those 12 hours of output are servicing by doing something you really enjoy (to the effect that it almost seems like 12 more hours of input, catch my drift?) Learn what you are passionate about!
2) Prioritization
Speaking of passion. We have lost our sense of priorities and what is important to us.
What’s important to you these days? I have clients write their eulogies. What do you want to be known for in your life? At the end of the day what is most important? Are you fulfilling your dreams? Are you wasting time in fear and all the perceived pressures of life and expectations? Are you living your life?
Each week set aside priorities that move you toward fulfilling your goals and your soul’s purpose.
3) Organization & Understanding Time Suckers
With most my life coaching clients, I help them create structure. We create schedules of their week so that they can take back their time and empower themselves to be more in control of their lives vs their distractions like “time suckers”. Time suckers are things we perceive to be important, but in actuality they may not be like Instagram & Facebook. I’m not saying these aren’t powerful marketing/promotional and social tools, but we all know that one post can lead to several hours of time lost. When we create schedules, we can allot how much time goes into our priorities first and then see where we are losing time or becoming inefficient.
4) Taking Back Control & Time
There are three work scenarios that I hear time and time again from people who overwork.
1) I stay late at work because I feel like I have to (regardless of whether there is work for me). If I stay longer the perception is I work harder.
2) I have work to do, but I get distracted at work by conversations, food, and time suckers. I don’t get my work done. I must stay late.
3) There is just too much work and not enough man power.
We need to learn to empower ourselves to be productive, work efficiently, speak up and create healthy boundaries so that we are doing the work we get paid for. This is healthy for you and best for your employer. The fact is, we need to be more in control of our time and perceived perceptions of pressure and stress. All of these scenarios are changeable if you are willing to accept responsibility. And when we take back our power, many things in our lives shift.
5) Understanding Your Value & Self Worth
Many clients that I work with have an inherent self-worth issue. This is an epidemic in our society. We are caught in the program loop of “lack” and “not enough”. We have been spoon fed this idea that we don’t have the power to create what we desire in our lives.
Human beings were gifted with the Spark of the Divine (the Creator) thus we have the ability to Create! We need to understand that it is our birth right to summon this energy and use this to create what our Soul desires and to express our passions, gifts and talents.
6) Understanding your Gifts, Passions and Soul’s Desire
Based on the previous, if we can let go of these ideas of lack and not enough, we can jump the hurdle of fears and limited perceptions that keep us small. We need to do the inner work to understand what are heart and soul is desiring based on what our passions, gifts and talents are. Without this knowledge we get caught up in the mind’s perceptions that may not reflect the True Self.
Honoring the True Self is the Key to Being Happy!
I hope you find these tips helpful. As a mentor coach, there are so many tools in our tool box that can catalyze real change. We act as your accountability partner to keep you on track and empower you to shift your perceptions and overcome your shadows and blind spots. Ultimately, its about creating the understanding that the power to create anything is within you and you hold the key to your happiness.