3 Steps to Develop Trust in Yourself

Trust is big word.

Do you know what it means?

In the dictionary it’s defined as a ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.’

So I looked up the word, “belief”.

In the dictionary its defined as to ‘accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of.’

So trust can be defined as, “a firm acceptance of the truth in the reliability, ability, or strength of someone (ourselves or another) or something.”

When clients come to me for healing and coachign, they admit they have a hard time trusting themselves and others.

If looking at the above definition you might ponder, what in their lives created a wavering in their reliability, ability or strength?

I say, the belief in the ego experience.

Your beliefs systems are a product of your childhood environment. You accept the opinions and attitudes of your parents, childhood friends and society. You ingest behaviors.

The ego is an artificial sense of who you are. It’s an idea based on other people’s opinions. You begin to believe this is who you are and and then think of yourself in this way.

You have a hard time accepting the truth about yourself as a reliable, strong, and powerful creator.  Yet, your true essence is Love – limitless, boundless, and free.

You believe so deeply in this Ego identity that you cannot often see your True Self.

The ego in and of itself is neither good or bad; it just is. It’s a stage in our development that serves its purpose…it needs to be progressively shed in favor of the re-emergence of our true self from the mists of childhood. ~Shefali Tsabary, PhD.

You are now witnessing the societal collective egoic programs that have been running for a long, long time that say, “you are not enough”.

You are awakening and remembering the non-dual truth of Love, yet you live in the nature of dualism, ego and lack consciousness.

You are undergoing a big shift – understanding the Divinity in all things and seeing yourself in the other.

You are beginning to understand that you have the ability to bring God intelligence into manifest.

You are witnessing that you impact “the other” greatly and that you have this innate power and intelligence inside of you.

How can you step forward into trust?

Or as defined above, change your beliefs to become ‘firm in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of yourself and the other?

This brings me to the Yoga Sutras and the concept of Kriya Yoga.

Kriya Yoga is what is said to release our suffering that is rooted in self-ignorance (ego which keeps us separate) and lead us to Self-realization/God.

Kriya Yoga is also referred to as the concept of “skill in action”.

Creating “skill in action” has three steps.

These are 3 Steps that will help you develop trust in the other and yourself:

1) Discipline/Self-Purification/Heat/Body ” – Tapas = Strength

2) Self Study/Reflection/Mind – Svadhyaya   = Reliability

3) Devotion/Surrender to God/Soul – Isvara Pranidhana = Truth


You can become trusting of yourself when you do your inner work.

You can show yourself how to build strength in your body, by purifying and practicing and disciplining yourself. Through a physical practices like yoga, you can start to overcome the stories and beliefs of your limited mind.

When you self-reflect, you discover reliability through making conscious choices and closing the gap on your subconscious programs through self-awareness. Yoga has been defined as bringing the subconscious to the conscious and creating union. This way you take ownership for yourself and control the monkey mind. You become aware of our reactivity, judgments, and ego and become discerning and responsible.

When you surrender to a spiritual belief system that all is Divine, Love and in Perfect Order then you release a lot of the pain and suffering that feeds the Ego of separation. When you surrender to the beauty of all as equal under the eyes of God, then you can see the truth that Love flows through you as YOU.

This is a mind-body-spirit approach to developing trust in yourself and the other.

I will share a testimonial from a client who went through my Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive integrative healing and coaching program.

This is what it feels like to develop trust in yourself!

I had no idea what to expect from this program, but I believed in Nicole and her ability to help me find whatever it was I was looking for. I needed a guide, someone who was spiritual but also successful and pragmatic in her approach to healing. I recognized all of my own potential and saw glimpses of who I could become, but felt as though I was somehow preventing myself from acting on this potential. Envisioning the life I could have made me happy, but I was depressed about feeling disconnected from the path that would guide me there. I was stuck and I needed help. My intentions for the program were vague: I wanted to be happy with my work, I wanted to accept myself as I am, and I wanted to get rid of my attachments to past experiences. Through my work with Nicole, these intentions became clear and powerful. Exploring what happiness means to me, who I am, and what experiences I was holding onto gave me a greater sense of self-awareness and a greater appreciation for the experiences of others as well. I am more accepting of myself, which naturally has led to a greater feeling of connection with and acceptance of the world around me. Once this was realized, everything else had a tendency to fall into place. This program was challenging, but I am left feeling proud of myself for taking a risk and investing in something that has essentially granted me freedom. I would recommend Nicole’s program to anyone who is looking to take back her power and move beyond whatever self-imposed barriers are keeping her from following the path that was meant for her. ~ Misa, Coaching Client


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Revealing My Pain, Grief & Anger

I had a revelation today!

Throughout our lives we have a series of revelations that bring us more in alignment with our Soul. Over the course of the last 24 hours, I realized a few things through witnessing others’ magnetic love, participating in deep sacred healing ceremonies, crystal bathing under the Leo full moon, crying in meditation, taking walks in the perfection of Nature, playing with my delicious baby, and listening to empowering teachers/mentors. I’ve realized all these activities are practices that guide me toward my Soul’s evolution and in totality are massaging my life to become more in step with God.

What I’m in the process of revealing is the depth of my grief, sadness, anger and pain. At some level my human experience is telling me I’m trapped, and my story is that I don’t have the ability, knowledge, creativity or the intellect to expand beyond the ceiling that is above me and the boundaries I’ve created around myself. I feel like I’m going through a spiritual washing machine that’s set on ‘heavy load’.

What I’ve realized is that my deepest process of self-discovery over the last 6 years, plus becoming a parent, has led me here – to the deeply wounded inner child. And the patterns of my lineage and my past keeps replaying like a broken record.

I’ve been working on my father stuff for the last 6 years, but I hadn’t scratched the surface of the mother or the challenges of her lineage of the ‘war on the masculine’. And I thank God for the messenger of Donald Trump to show us the raging war that has been waged and how it resides within the individual and manifests in the collective.

Michael Beckwidth’s theme this month for Agape is, “My Context is My Perception”.  I’ve been working with my amazing intuitive healer, James Stellar who always is teaching me how to be a “beginner in life” and to not “declare war” because then we live in it!

What I’ve realized is that I’m in a raging war within my own being, that struggles to find peace amongst her past traumas and that I’ve not fully reconciled the parts of me that feel doubt, guilt, shame, aggravation, unloved and or not good enough.

I know that nobody can make me feel this way, yet I continually blame and shame the people around me that trigger these emotions within me and justify it at every turn. I build up a case that propels the ugly story and now I’m living within it.

I find myself at a new plateau.

I listened today to the phrase, “My Context is my Perception”, and something clicked.  It’s something that I teach all the time in my yoga classes. I also teach how to flip the negative thoughts into positive ones through some concepts of the Yoga Sutras. I think I’ve been so busy helping others, I have left my little child behind.

I offered an incredible life coaching workshop to the 300-Hour YogaWorks Teacher Trainees last week and as I read and taught and saw so many “a-ha” moments, I recognized I hadn’t taken my own medicine or my own programs in some time. As a mom, I’ve completely let myself go!  Thankfully, it sent me home to do some of my own inner work.

Being a parent is a self-less act and also leaves little time for Self. Yet, that’s not the only paradigm. That’s a perception too.

So today, I need to not leap ahead of myself.  I need to stop and smell the roses like I do when I’m on a walk with my child. I need to slow down and have patience. I need to allow myself to be in the cocoon of motherhood which brings us so many valuable lessons.  I need to not speed ahead to catch up in some imaginary race toward a measured success that is outlined by who exactly?

James Stellar offered in his newsletter to go on a “Complaining Fast” and to detox the negativity and the limits that we place on ourselves.  Michael Beckwith offers to “create a context in which God is always working through you”.

Use me, God.  I am tired of my negative thoughts running amuck in my head, and I’ve created sickness and fragility in my body. I want to see the “expanding awareness and link up to the Eternal broadcast“, as Michael says.

I’m no longer taking any stance that I’m a victim of my circumstances. I’m really ready to give up that story.

As Michael says, “inspiration is a thought from God as is kindness and generosity.”

I am ready to step it up to the next level,  to feel at One with God. To be in love with myself and all my “perceived” flaws.

I’ve been storing the pain of others for a long time and adding it to my own. And when I feel all these emotions I understand now that they are the substrata of the previously held perceptions that I’ve not released.  I need to clear these old emotions so that I don’t have such strong reactions against anyone or anything.

It’s time for all of us to take ownership and responsibility for ourselves and to understand that no one makes you feel any way.  They offer an experience or an event and then you have the responsibility to respond. If you respond with kindness, the outcome can be positive. If you respond with negativity, you will likely get the same. I taught this last week in my workshop!;)

As Michael Beckwith says, “we can’t place emotional pain on others. Anxiousness is here because of my perception. Fear is here because of my perception.” He also said, “Blaming those emotions on others is not a solution to your problems  – it emanates from a perception of yourself.”


Today, I choose to wake up to the best of my ability and how I will serve.

Today, I choose to not live in the lower frequencies of my mind.

Today, I will re-commit to my spiritual practices that keep me grounded in this knowing.

“Today I am not a victim, but a victor!” (Michael Beckwith)

Today, I release these negative emotions and rise up beyond them.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Amen, So Be It, A’ho!


I can’t wait to share this work with you…




Overcoming Obstacles – Finding Gratitude Through Deep Stillness

Whenever we are faced with obstacles on our journey, they are actually amazing opportunities in disguise to create stillness, to go within and to find gratitude for all things.

With every obstacle that arises we have a chance to see the shadowy parts of ourselves that lay hidden beneath the surface.  The fluctuations of the mind, the ego, and external forces create a landmine of distractions that can keep us from going deep within to listen to our soul.  We all know how easy it is, when faced with obstacles to judge and to move outside of our alignment toward self-destructive, punishing behaviors and thoughts of our wrongdoing. Or we can distract ourselves outwardly by socializing, searching for people to rally around our ‘being right’, or help those who are troubled so that we can forget about our own issues.

As described by the ancient philosophies, the truth is that the way to harness our power is to create stillness. 

In stillness we magnify our power by listening to silence. Silence gives us a glimpse of the free, unconditionally loving spirit within. It strengthens our intuition, which is our ability to see the inner world, in contrast to using our eyes to interpret the ever-changing outer world. Creating stillness is what most of us need and what most of us despise.  Stillness can be perceived as uncomfortable, frightful, lazy and lonely.

Let’s not forget that we are spiritual beings living in a human body and not the other way around.  The love for others and ourselves originates from our connection to Source energy.

“You are not a troubled guest on this Earth, you are not an accident amidst other accidents, you were invited from another and greater night than the one from which you have just emerged.” ~David Whyte

In the Yoga Sutras of Pantanjali, (1.14) it is written, “control over the mind’s fluctuations comes from persevering practice and non-attachment”.

These two guiding concepts of Abhyasa (consistent practice) and Vairagya (non-attachment) help us to find meditation. Although they seem like opposites, effort and surrender, they work as compliments to find this peace within. Peace does not come without practice.

For me, the most effective way to design a practice is to create a sacred space right next to my bed. 

This way before I start my day, or before I go to bed, I have no excuse, but to stop at my altar.  I have adorned my altar with many representations of beauty, people, deities, rocks, stones, crystals, scents and elements of nature. I now have a meditation cushion to curb my excuses that it’s just not comfortable.

I also have slowed down significantly to find prayers of gratitude before my daily rituals like eating, yoga, or healing sessions to tap into my Source energy for guidance and love.

If the mind is heavily distracted I learned through the Law of Attraction to acknowledge all of the things that I am grateful for through stream of consciousness. This will turn my attention away from negative thought patterns and will line me up with Source energy. From Source, I can more easily drop into meditation.

For my meditations, especially if I am restless, I turn to wise meditation teachers to steer my silence through their guided meditations. 

Some of my favorite teachers are Deepak Chopra, Rod Stryker, Richard Freeman and Jeddah Mali.

On a final note about those feelings of discomfort, I want to share an analogy that I love from a Shaman I trained with in Peru.

Imagine for the first time you have just stepped onto an airplane.  Bad weather appears outside. The plane gets bumpy and is jolted. Major fear arises. You think are going to die. You reach for the barf bag in the seat in front of you and get sick.  The second time you get on the plane, you feel the jolt and you know what is causing it and the feeling of sickness may have dissipated.  After several plane rides you know the territory and you feel more safe.  Now, you can fall asleep on the plane with no effort. You completely trust and surrender that you are in good hands. 

The next time you sit down, remember that everything that’s new has its obstacles and that’s what provides the biggest growth. Sit with your fear and send it love.

This year has been one of the most challenging years of my life, with the biggest obstacles AND it has also the most expansive on all levels of my being.  Finding my meditation practice has transformed my life.

In pure love, light and joy.  May you find peace this Thanksgiving season and find meditation in all your days to come.