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Re-Parenting Emotional Vulnerability: From Weakness to Invincibility!

Do you ever see yourself as weak or too vulnerable? Or have you felt sorry for yourself?  

What can you do to heal this? 

I was listening to a client the other day and her story was filled with self-shame and judgement toward her emotions. Each time she would experience an uncomfortable feeling, her body would respond very specifically, and she would apologize. 

As a coach and healer, it’s my job to be a mirror to one’s experience tracking one’s subtle energy, language, and body to understand what’s being communicated. Most of our communication is non-verbal. There is so much to be learned through our experience that we are doing unconsciously.

I quickly pointed out that what she was experiencing in this narrative was the same judgment and blocks that she was experiencing in real-time in her business and her relationships.  

In her business she judges her learning process.  She claims she is incompetent when she’s doing operational stuff that’s not in her genius zone, or she shames herself and says she’s weak.

In her relationships she would shut down emotionally or disassociate.

This perpetual shaming has created low-self esteem, and a victim/martyr mentality. 

So where did this begin?

Our unconscious programming develops in our early childhood.

Typically I use an inner child guided imagery process to bring light to these core narratives. I asked my client to imagine a time in her early childhood when she first experienced these feelings (judgment or shame), so she could bring awareness to the core of it and uproot it. 

In this experience, her adult self witnessed her inner child and her response was, “I feel so sorry for her. I pity her pain.”

In this case, she remembered as a kid being taught to “buckle up” and to get over her emotions.  That her emotions were considered weak. If her emotions were present, they were blown out of proportion so she was made to apologize for them. Having emotions was pitiful and painful to her parents. She began to judge children as weak and vulnerable.  Any time she experienced discomfort, she would be shamed. She also believed that the world was a scary place as a result.

What a major a-ha!

I asked her mature adult self to guide her, to teach her about what emotions really are, how to be with them, and how to manage them. I gave her a voice and some breath tools to feel safe in her emotions and move them through her body.

This kind of process develops a trusting relationship between the inner child and the adult self

This process is also called “re-parenting”.

Reparenting gives the client an opportunity to create a new narrative coming from the wisdom of the Higher Self. The adult self and inner child co-create a new story built on the foundations of safety, love, and acceptance which builds trust within oneself. 

The pity she felt was the resistance, or tension that was keeping her disconnected from accessing her authentic emotions and was creating blocks in her flow.

Now, she can take ownership of the past, find forgiveness and create something new. 

In the last part of the session, we challenged her belief about her inner child being weak to feel into a new version of confidence.

Is it true that your inner child is weak?

What if the inner child were the most powerful part of you?

What if the inner child were your creative genius? 

What if the inner child was your play? 

What if your innocence was not vulnerable and weak, but vulnerable in its ability to love fully?

What if your inner child was Source within you? 

What if she were eternal and invincible? 

Would you see her differently? 

I brought out “The Sophia Code” teachings: 

“The paradoxical pearl of innocence is that its absolute vulnerability is invincible: for the guardian of innocence is its own holy, indivisible nature. Innocence cannot be bought or manipulated or torn apart. I invite those who have suffered in body and mind from the imbalances and violations of others to take courage – for your innocence can never be stolen from you.  

Your innocence remains steadfast within you, waiting for the storms to recede, safely hidden within The Rose of your heart. When you believe your innocence is damaged or even lost forever, your awareness slips into the dark insanity of suffering, the light of your Higher Self is within you, ever ready to respond to your vulnerable requests for help in remembering your innocence. Claiming your sovereignty reinstates your innocence as a gift and guide for creating a new paradigm in this world.” 

I believe that children are very strong and resilient.

It’s humans who have conditioned them to be otherwise through our own victimization and trauma.  

Would you rather see yourself as invincible, empowered, whole and loved again?  

Our culture is re-learning how to express their emotions, and teaching their kids that it’s OK to have them, feel them, process them and move into action to create a new narrative. 

If we teach that emotions are “energies-in-motion” we can find compassion for the experience of them moving through us versus being defined by them. We can learn about our needs, desires and wants through them. They are great teachers.  

At the end of our session, my client was feeling safe, seen, accepted and loved by herself.

If you’d like to build a solid relationship with your inner child, heal and feel invincible vs vulnerable, Book a chat to get more details! 

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Vulnerability + Bridging the Gap For Self-Love

In this very moment as I write, I’m in a healing process that feels extremely vulnerable.

I wanted to share this because it came up twice today with my clients when we were talking about victim, shame, self-punishment, vulnerability, forgiveness and power. They found it very valuable for them as a way of leaning into their healing process for self-love.

As a yogi, trauma-informed intuitive healer and coach, I have been in the depths of shadow work learning how to create empowered ways to shift my perceptions and awareness in life. I’ve been a seeker in understanding the mind and the heart, and the pathway in between.

Today, I’m taking myself on a transformational shamanic healing journey that I know can move me through this event that just happened that triggered this shame spiral within me.

I share this as an example and small sliver of how I journey with my clients in efforts to illustrate an understanding of what I call “bridging the gap between the subconscious and conscious mind” so that my clients and I can step more fully into our power, present moment awareness and practice the art of vulnerability.

The subconscious mind harbors our core wounds from childhood, or any events in our past that may still be unresolved or need deeper forgiveness.

In one of my first moments of separation, or pain, my little self spun a narrative that became the root belief system I have about myself. This story is a core wound or inner child story, or in some sciences called the ‘victim’ story.

In this example, I was triggered over the weekend into my core wound through the most elevating experience I’ve had in quite sometime, ironically. I was at an incredible wedding for a couple I adore with some of my best friends in this world.

Yet as I got off the plane to go home, I felt the little girl inside of me rise up in a mini tantrum. I say mini thankfully because they used to be HUGE. LOL.

My conscious mind was just over the moon with joy, love and ecstatic dance and play.

My subconscious mind got stuck in my core wound story with my dad. “I’m abandoned. I’m not seen. I’m not important or good enough. No one loves me.” All the happy couples I watched enjoy their time that day triggered this response within me. Emotions came to the surface for healing.

The development of this ego story is an entirely other article, but what’s important now is how powerfully I can track my ego, say hello to this old story, and welcome the little girl and her pain from that originating experience into my arms.

When the originating trauma event occurred for me, I had deep emotions around it.

Today my little girl reflects those and feels vulnerable, tender and sad. She feels unloved and confused. I see the trauma moment in my mind’s eye and the feelings of abandonment and loneliness.

I hear the “I’m not good enough to deserve love” story that rears its head to self-sabotage, punish or perpetuate the story that “no one will marry me, or love me like that.”

What I used to do was shut these feelings down. Like most of us, I would shame and punish myself for having them. I would want to be ‘good’ and ‘positive’ so I would try to stop thinking about it and shove them further down.

Then, I would find myself in isolation; overworking or doing any of the myriads of coping behaviors I’ve strategically created to not feel pain. My addictive behaviors would show up to avoid and distract (eating, watching videos, etc.) and help me forget again.

Let me tell you something.

If emotions that are felt are not met, seen, acknowledged, heard or processed in real time, we hold on to them like a security blanket and develop more generalized belief systems and stories about others, relationships and the world that stem from that pain.

We call these unconscious patterns, which in turn become unconscious behaviors.

The crux of healing from this humble soul who writes this is getting to the core of the emotional root of our traumas so we can learn to forgive, heal and step more fully into understanding, awareness, perception, intimacy, vulnerability and our voice.

If we can speak forward and lean into what needs to be said and find a way to be honest and true, instead of pushing things under the rug out of fear of rejection and weakness, then we learn vulnerability, courage and compassion.

Triggers are always an opportunity to heal, understand, and love.

So today, instead of pushing my little girl to the side, I invited her into my Higher Love, support and voice. I hugged her with tenderness and care. I decided not to overwork and instead journal, emote and let go.

I practiced the art of surrender to the beauty of this Divine plan. I felt her. I adored her. I played and prayed with her. I became present to her needs for attention, care and acceptance. And, I forgave myself for holding on so tightly to this narrative.

I forgave my dad for he knew not what he did back then. To him (and understanding as a parent now) this incident probably would have been so minor; yet, I took it so personally. I practiced understanding and compassion for he knew not the impact of this experience. I sent him deep love.

When we understand the above process and begin to see everyone through the lens of Source, we can shift our perception. It’s important to realize that we are not alone. We all carry core wounds, beliefs and perceptions. We all have pain and suffering. We all deal with these stories and narratives.

When we practice tracking the ego and stories this is what it means to bridge the gap between the subconscious and the conscious mind.

This is how we learn the art of vulnerability. Vulnerability is when we risk stepping into the fire of the unknown, challenge our perceptions, and expose our raw emotions for healing. As Brene Brown tells us in the Call to Courage, vulnerability is courage. They walk hand-in-hand.

Benefits of doing this inner healing work are:
• Practicing ahimsa, or non-violence – not projecting your stuff onto others
• Reducing the time you are affected by the flow of your emotions
• Being responsible for your life, so that you can manifest and create
• Learning to speak and express your needs from a place of power and love vs pain
• Minimizing your downtime away from your passions, purpose and power
• Feeling abundant and in love with yourself and others

I’ll invite you to see what behaviors and belief systems you want to change and reverse engineer your life for healing. This is the transformational process of healing that will help you unleash your power and bring you into presence.

Just as you can heal your past, you can change your future. It’s all a matter of getting present to what is happening now and learning to resource support. It’s an opportunity to trust yourself and create safety through connecting your Highest Self with your Inner Child and bringing yourself back to Innocence, Wholeness and Sacred Union with the Divine.

This is the journey from the head into the heart. This is what creates great strength and compassion. This is the process of awakening to Divine Love.

Many blessings dear one on your healing path!