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False Identities, Deeper Truths & Power

by Nicole's Blog

If you’ve been reading about my journey (connect with my past few blogs), I’m in a space of incredibly deep self-healing. For years I’ve been doing lineage work to discover more about myself and how I operate in relatedness to my experiences growing up, but now I’m in recognition that the final stage of this is to turn fully toward and lean into myself as the true creator of my whole human experience.  This is the Path of Feminine Power.

I’m in two coaching courses that are powerfully co-stepping me into this work:  Violet Lange’s The Pleasure Path and The Feminine Power 7 Week Essential Course For the Awakening Woman by Dr. Claire Zammit from Evolving Wisdom.

Any time I wish to blame, victimize or see the downturns in my life as outside of me, I need to take ownership, accountability and responsibility for the stories I’ve been running that are creating the energy that attract the same patterns out of familiarity and evidence to support them.

As I have been re-connecting with the concept of pleasure, surrender, receptivity, desire, softening, gentleness, and loving kindness – the Divine Feminine – I’m healing the hurt parts of me and stepping into my power and seeing what scripts I’ve been playing that are running as a result of the pain I’ve been storing.

My false identities are: I am not good enough, not safe, unworthy and invisible.

In this story, I find that I avoid people socially and avoid deep connections. I forgo my ability to receive love, support and intimacy. This makes me feel isolated, unaccepted and unloved. I’m seeing how little I self-love and how judgemental and critical I am toward myself.

In the Feminine Power course we talk about DEEPER TRUTHS beneath the stories.

The Deeper Truth is that I have a huge well of love that I’m yearning to share and it feels so big that I’m actually frightened of unleashing it!!!  I long for deep intimate relationships and to build loving, supportive community. I’m valuable and my needs matter. I am beautiful, protected, and accepted.

My POWER STATEMENT (this is mutable and will change through the course, but feels ripe in the moment) is:

I am loved and lovable. I have an immense well of love that I am here to offer humanity.  I am accepted, beautiful, wise and enough. My desires and needs are top priority. I am intuitive and as such I can create and source safety for myself. I am open to receiving what life has to offer in love, support, guidance and abundance. I build deep intimate relationships and loving, supportive community. I am valuable and my needs matter. I am presencing myself and impacting people’s lives.

Ahhh, that feels so good to say, write and FEEL.

I am learning to get in touch with my wide range of emotions as a woman (embodying the vastness of the ocean as my mantra) and to not hide them. I  learned today from Violet that I can welcome my variety of thoughts in this way as well. I have been in a very masculine energy battle in my mind between my ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ perceptions. We concluded that the feminine way would be to embrace the negative thoughts as well as the positive ones as the vastness of the ocean. And, viewing the criticisms or judgements through the lens of the little me protecting and sheltering myself from pain. Now the bigger me can thank that part of myself in its final gasps and merge into my higher potential.

I feel so much more in tune with myself than I ever have. I’m just so excited to share this path with my clients! My healings have been so dynamic, juicy and powerful as a result of all this work.

Stay tuned for the next few weeks are sure to be explosive!!!

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Revealing My Pain, Grief & Anger

by Nicole's Blog

I had a revelation today!

Throughout our lives we have a series of revelations that bring us more in alignment with our Soul. Over the course of the last 24 hours, I realized a few things through witnessing others’ magnetic love, participating in deep sacred healing ceremonies, crystal bathing under the Leo full moon, crying in meditation, taking walks in the perfection of Nature, playing with my delicious baby, and listening to empowering teachers/mentors. I’ve realized all these activities are practices that guide me toward my Soul’s evolution and in totality are massaging my life to become more in step with God.

What I’m in the process of revealing is the depth of my grief, sadness, anger and pain. At some level my human experience is telling me I’m trapped, and my story is that I don’t have the ability, knowledge, creativity or the intellect to expand beyond the ceiling that is above me and the boundaries I’ve created around myself. I feel like I’m going through a spiritual washing machine that’s set on ‘heavy load’.

What I’ve realized is that my deepest process of self-discovery over the last 6 years, plus becoming a parent, has led me here – to the deeply wounded inner child. And the patterns of my lineage and my past keeps replaying like a broken record.

I’ve been working on my father stuff for the last 6 years, but I hadn’t scratched the surface of the mother or the challenges of her lineage of the ‘war on the masculine’. And I thank God for the messenger of Donald Trump to show us the raging war that has been waged and how it resides within the individual and manifests in the collective.

Michael Beckwidth’s theme this month for Agape is, “My Context is My Perception”.  I’ve been working with my amazing intuitive healer, James Stellar who always is teaching me how to be a “beginner in life” and to not “declare war” because then we live in it!

What I’ve realized is that I’m in a raging war within my own being, that struggles to find peace amongst her past traumas and that I’ve not fully reconciled the parts of me that feel doubt, guilt, shame, aggravation, unloved and or not good enough.

I know that nobody can make me feel this way, yet I continually blame and shame the people around me that trigger these emotions within me and justify it at every turn. I build up a case that propels the ugly story and now I’m living within it.

I find myself at a new plateau.

I listened today to the phrase, “My Context is my Perception”, and something clicked.  It’s something that I teach all the time in my yoga classes. I also teach how to flip the negative thoughts into positive ones through some concepts of the Yoga Sutras. I think I’ve been so busy helping others, I have left my little child behind.

I offered an incredible life coaching workshop to the 300-Hour YogaWorks Teacher Trainees last week and as I read and taught and saw so many “a-ha” moments, I recognized I hadn’t taken my own medicine or my own programs in some time. As a mom, I’ve completely let myself go!  Thankfully, it sent me home to do some of my own inner work.

Being a parent is a self-less act and also leaves little time for Self. Yet, that’s not the only paradigm. That’s a perception too.

So today, I need to not leap ahead of myself.  I need to stop and smell the roses like I do when I’m on a walk with my child. I need to slow down and have patience. I need to allow myself to be in the cocoon of motherhood which brings us so many valuable lessons.  I need to not speed ahead to catch up in some imaginary race toward a measured success that is outlined by who exactly?

James Stellar offered in his newsletter to go on a “Complaining Fast” and to detox the negativity and the limits that we place on ourselves.  Michael Beckwith offers to “create a context in which God is always working through you”.

Use me, God.  I am tired of my negative thoughts running amuck in my head, and I’ve created sickness and fragility in my body. I want to see the “expanding awareness and link up to the Eternal broadcast“, as Michael says.

I’m no longer taking any stance that I’m a victim of my circumstances. I’m really ready to give up that story.

As Michael says, “inspiration is a thought from God as is kindness and generosity.”

I am ready to step it up to the next level,  to feel at One with God. To be in love with myself and all my “perceived” flaws.

I’ve been storing the pain of others for a long time and adding it to my own. And when I feel all these emotions I understand now that they are the substrata of the previously held perceptions that I’ve not released.  I need to clear these old emotions so that I don’t have such strong reactions against anyone or anything.

It’s time for all of us to take ownership and responsibility for ourselves and to understand that no one makes you feel any way.  They offer an experience or an event and then you have the responsibility to respond. If you respond with kindness, the outcome can be positive. If you respond with negativity, you will likely get the same. I taught this last week in my workshop!;)

As Michael Beckwith says, “we can’t place emotional pain on others. Anxiousness is here because of my perception. Fear is here because of my perception.” He also said, “Blaming those emotions on others is not a solution to your problems  – it emanates from a perception of yourself.”

Affirmations:

Today, I choose to wake up to the best of my ability and how I will serve.

Today, I choose to not live in the lower frequencies of my mind.

Today, I will re-commit to my spiritual practices that keep me grounded in this knowing.

“Today I am not a victim, but a victor!” (Michael Beckwith)

Today, I release these negative emotions and rise up beyond them.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Today, I fill my body with the Voice and Love of God.

Amen, So Be It, A’ho!

Blessings!

I can’t wait to share this work with you…

 

 

nicole-doherty-life-coaching

6 Coaching Tips to Create Happiness

by Nicole's Blog

I can say from direct experience in my own life and from working with so many life coaching clients, that these are the biggest obstacles to our happiness:

1) Being Overworked
2) Stress/Anxiety
3) Perceived Pressures (abstract & mind created – not enough time, family expectations, societal pressure, etc.)

These experiences become obstacles to our happiness because they create:

1) Fear
2) Life Imbalances
2) Lack of Fulfillment
3) Health Issues – Physical/Fatigue/Insomnia
4) Dysfunctional Relationships

Here are 6 tips that I have found to be helpful in transmuting these obstacles and thus create real change in our lives:

1) Increased Self-Care/12:12 Rule

Ensure you are engaging at least a few times a week in some sort of practice that is just for you that helps you to release pressure, stress, and anxiety. For example: yoga, meditation, running, eating well, and sleeping more and better.  If you can’t figure out how to get to find the time for this enlist an accountability partner – a friend, coach, mentor or trainer.  Someone who does this well.

There is a rule called the 12:12 Rule.  12 Hours of Input = 12 Hours of Output.  If we have 24 hours in a day, allow yourself to be fed and nourished in 12 of them, thus your output is productive and impassioned.  For input, sleep is part of the 12 hours and the other 4 are for self-care/fun/passion. For output, you have 12 hours of energy expenditure to the human experience as service.  If you do your inner work than those 12 hours of output are servicing by doing something you really enjoy (to the effect that it almost seems like 12 more hours of input, catch my drift?) Learn what you are passionate about!

2) Prioritization

Speaking of passion. We have lost our sense of priorities and what is important to us.

What’s important to you these days?  I have clients write their eulogies. What do you want to be known for in your life? At the end of the day what is most important? Are you fulfilling your dreams? Are you wasting time in fear and all the perceived pressures of life and expectations? Are you living your life?

Each week set aside priorities that move you toward fulfilling your goals and your soul’s purpose.

3) Organization & Understanding Time Suckers

With most my life coaching clients, I help them create structure. We create schedules of their week so that they can take back their time and empower themselves to be more in control of their lives vs their distractions like “time suckers”.  Time suckers are things we perceive to be important, but in actuality they may not be like Instagram & Facebook. I’m not saying these aren’t powerful marketing/promotional and social tools, but we all know that one post can lead to several hours of time lost. When we create schedules, we can allot how much time goes into our priorities first and then see where we are losing time or becoming inefficient.

4) Taking Back Control & Time

There are three work scenarios that I hear time and time again from people who overwork.

1) I stay late at work because I feel like I have to (regardless of whether there is work for me).  If I stay longer the perception is I work harder.
2) I have work to do, but I get distracted at work by conversations, food, and time suckers. I don’t get my work done. I must stay late.
3) There is just too much work and not enough man power.

We need to learn to empower ourselves to be productive, work efficiently, speak up and create healthy boundaries so that we are doing the work we get paid for.  This is healthy for you and best for your employer.   The fact is, we need to be more in control of our time and perceived perceptions of pressure and stress.  All of these scenarios are changeable if you are willing to accept responsibility.  And when we take back our power, many things in our lives shift.

5) Understanding Your Value & Self Worth

Many clients that I work with have an inherent self-worth issue. This is an epidemic in our society.  We are caught in the program loop of “lack” and “not enough”.  We have been spoon fed this idea that we don’t have the power to create what we desire in our lives.

Human beings were gifted with the Spark of the Divine (the Creator) thus we have the ability to Create! We need to understand that it is our birth right to summon this energy and use this to create what our Soul desires and to express our passions, gifts and talents.

6) Understanding your Gifts, Passions and Soul’s Desire

Based on the previous, if we can let go of these ideas of lack and not enough, we can jump the hurdle of fears and limited perceptions that keep us small.  We need to do the inner work to understand what are heart and soul is desiring based on what our passions, gifts and talents are.  Without this knowledge we get caught up in the mind’s perceptions that may not reflect the True Self.

Honoring the True Self is the Key to Being Happy!

I hope you find these tips helpful. As a mentor coach, there are so many tools in our tool box that can catalyze real change. We act as your accountability partner to keep you on track and empower you to shift your perceptions and overcome your shadows and blind spots. Ultimately, its about creating the understanding that the power to create anything is within you and you hold the key to your happiness.