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HOW AUTHENTIC ARE YOUR TRUTHS?

by Nicole's Blog

What holds you back from expressing your deepest desires in relationships?
What do you need to give up to create an embodied, thriving relationship?
How authentically do you speak your truths?

I asked a client recently, “What deep desire do you wish to express in your life with your partner?” She said, “I don’t know what I want to express or what I even desire.”
She was blocked in her sacral charka – the home of desire, pleasure, and needs. I rephrased it, “If your human nature is to desire, what fear comes up around speaking your truth?” Then, “If there were no consequences, what would you really want to say to your partner?”

This is where her thoughts went…
What if he judges me?
Will he leave me?
What if he doesn’t accept my feelings or hear my needs?
What if he reacts as he has in the past?
If I tell him the truth, will I make what I say safe for him to experience?
Will he not feel love from me?
Will he be OK?

This is how we started to unpack her authentic truths.

The thing is, many of my clients come to me to heal trauma. They are operating in their shadow behaviors – strategies that the ego adopts to cope with pain.

In these answers you can see that there is not much concern for what she wants, desires or needs.

Women have been suffering from oppression, suppression and abuse for millennia and although this is changing, the viral programs are still being flushed. Women are shut down. Women lack awareness in their bodies. Women have given up trying to get what they desire because they were not allowed to desire.

In her case, these thoughts stem from the Martyr-People Pleaser complex.

The martyr suppresses her needs and desires. She’s considered the “doormat” or the “self-saboteur”, that takes on others’ pain, assumes personal fault, and doesn’t voice her true feelings.

If she doesn’t have a voice, or can’t stand up for herself, she often will place the focus in her relationship on her partner. Thus, becoming the People Pleaser as it’s easier to help, solve and fix them than to understand herself. It’s a way to she can self-validate.

When we learn to open up and be vulnerable in a relationship, we do not know how the other person will react or receive our truths. In relationships, we learn that each person comes with their own set of rules, experiences, openness, past traumas, etc.

It’s important to learn how to express oneself with authenticity regardless of how it may land with your partner. The way it lands for the other is their responsibility. We need to learn to not so deeply project the possible narrative.

If we are to let go of co-dependency – tip toeing around our partners to help save them – then we need to learn that we are safe to express ourselves.

Back to my client.
What do you really want to say….
She blurted, “I’d rather have LOVE from the Divine than from him.”

I said, “THANK YOU for speaking your truth! I know this is truth because its UNIVERSAL WISDOM. All humans seek UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ultimately for ourselves.”

She’s on a journey of self-love releasing her pain.
She can’t receive LOVE from him until she receives for herself.
That’s why their relationship isn’t in alignment at the moment.

BRAVO…but check this out…..!

The Martyr made her bad and her at fault for this truth.
The Rescuer believes her husband will not like her if she says this.

How can she express this to her partner?
#1 – Do the healing work of self-love first for her
#2 – Learn the nuances of communication with him

For example…

  • Maybe she can explain what this means for her and her needs – more meditation, self-care and self-love practice time?
  • Maybe there is a best time when her partner is more open to receiving this information – not during a stressed moment where it could be taken the wrong way.
  • Maybe she could use a different tone that can soften her approach and start with an intention of connection in her heart.
  • Maybe she practices more discernment with word choices that connects her with her partner and doesn’t make him bad, at fault, or not DIVINE.

In the end, we are all DIVINE, reflecting for each other to come back to loving ourselves more fully.

This precision, compassion and care is what makes up great communication and creates thriving, authentic, embodied relationships.

If you are interested in learning more about self-mastery, authentic relating and embodied relationships, book a 15 min clarity call.

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I don’t feel heard in my relationship. What can I do? 

by Nicole's Blog

I don’t feel heard in my relationship. What can I do? 

When I ask women about their relationships, I often hear the phrase “I don’t feel heard.”  This could be in her relationship, with her boss, or even with her child.  

As a women’s coach and healer, I teach that every relationship is a mirror to your own inner work. All the feelings you have about it are generated from within you. 

If a woman is not feeling heard in her partnership, I have her go within. If you don’t feel heard in your relationship, I ask, “Are you hearing yourself?” 

Women will experience this narrative, “I’m not heard” typically in their current partnerships because of their unresolved traumas, emotions and experiences from their childhood.  My specialty is helping women become deeply aware of their subconscious programming so they can transform their stories, reclaim their power and show up from a more conscious place now. 

Here are some examples of why you may feel unheard: 

You had parents who were too busy arguing with each other. 

You may have been a sibling sandwiched between other siblings in a large family. 

You may have had a father who was always at work and unavailable. 

You may have had a mother who was a nervous wreck and wrapped up in herself. 

In all of these situations, your inner child was probably not receiving much attention.  As children we all have basic emotional needs for safety, love, attention, and affection. 

If our parents were unable to provide one of these basic needs, we might create a core narrative, also called a core wound. In this, we develop related emotions, beliefs about ourselves and others, and coping mechanisms that help us to manage our pain. 

If you are not feeling heard, chances are you are not expressing your needs and feelings either. You might be ignoring an inner voice that says, “this doesn’t feel good, but I don’t know how to bring it up. “Or, “I’ll just let this slip because it’s not that important”. 

When you read this, you may recognize what are termed martyr behaviors – not speaking up, taking on others’ pain, and not expressing yourself. These behaviors are shadows because they come from a sense of unworthiness or a feeling of not deserving to be heard, seen or loved. 

If left unresolved, you will perpetuate your pain, and this leads to self-sabotage because you will end up getting what you didn’t want – you will not be heard in your relationship! 

This is a great learning opportunity for the following reasons: 

This teaches you how to re-parent yourself. To turn inward and give the inner child what she so lovingly needs – for you to listen. Re-parenting helps you heal the unresolved pains, feelings and emotions that were trapped around this narrative. 

You open to a new perspective creating freedom from the patterns through self-forgiveness. In this way, you recognize that your parents were doing the best they could. 

You release the martyr shadow behavior and become more self-expressed, authentic and transparent with your needs, and desires because you are not moving from pain, but from power. 

You invite great tools into your life like conscious communication. 

Here is a quick process to learn how to self-resource.  

  1. When you feel unheard, take a pause and a few deep breaths. If you have the space for a brief meditation that’s the best – after all, you want to hear yourself.  Place a hand on your belly and heart. This brings a sense of calm to your body. 
  2. Ask yourself, “what causes me to feel unheard?” Note any images or events from the past that remind you of this. Be curious. 
  3. Now, ask your heart to express what she truly desires – more love, more attention, more acceptance? Now you are listening, and your current needs will be born out of these desires. This form of listening helps you build trust and is self-resourcing. 
  4. In this moment, you may realize that you don’t need anything at all AND there still maybe room for growth in your communication and your partnership.   
  5. Maybe you need more reciprocation from your partner, more reflective listening, clearer reciprocity, softer moments, or them to ask more questions about you. Whatever it is, connect with your partner in the heart and ask for a specific request that can meet your need.
  6. Questions that are connective might be: Would you be willing to…? Can you help me understand…? Can you reflect back what you heard so I feel you hear me? 

And remember this. Your partner might be able to meet your need, and doesn’t “need to” either. If your partner cannot meet your needs, what could you do to get that need met? (That’s another blog!) 

The point is – now you feel heard.

Feel free to leave comments or questions below.  Want to understand how to go deeper, grab a free 15 min chat!   https://calendly.com/unleashthepriestess/15min

 

 

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My Dark Night of the Soul + How it Birthed Unleash the Priestess!

by Nicole's Blog

Are you done feeling emotions that trigger self-hatred, self-sabotage and other destructive patterns? When will you stop living the life of your past and change this?

I recall one of my dark nights of the soul.

I was working my ass off and doing what I thought were all the right things, but nothing seemed to get into alignment.

It was like I would take a step forward and two steps back.

I was successful in many ways. Getting what I wanted in many ways. Yet, I would make a bunch of money, then lose it all. I would get a great opportunity and something would go awry. I would have expansive breakthroughs through all the healing work I was doing and then everything would fall apart. I’d be wrecked for days. I thought I was in great relationship yet it turned sour. We broke up and my child was now with separated parents.

Things were in chaos.

I couldn’t see the shadows lurking in the dark.

The thing was when things were good, I was good.

Then when things would turn, and I was not so good.

What I realized is that when things were good, I subconsciously couldn’t receive it. When things started to show up or go my way, I would sabotage it. I would butt up against my old stories, lack mentality, money issues, fear, overwhelm, and pain.

My inner child chose not to believe things were good because I still believed I wasn’t worthy of any of it. I felt in some way that I needed to be punished for my past.

I also believed that healers and teachers are bound to never make money! (Ugh). I was out rescuing everyone to prove my worth, until I was so depleted I was labeled with chronic fatigue.

It was time for another consciousness upgrade!

I decided to get coaching and work with more intuitive healers.

I knew it was going to be a financial commitment, a big old fear of mine, which is what kept me from doing it. And, I’m so glad I did.

What I found was that I was stuck in some old patterns of feeling not good enough, and past conditions of abuse, criticism, and judgement. I was giving up so much of my power away subconsciously.

That’s why I couldn’t make money either. I felt I didn’t deserve it.

On top of that I packed on a few big resentments through all that rescuing and I didn’t feel loved or supported. And truly the kicker… I was suppressing my voice and not expressing my feelings out of fear of what others would think!

What I realized was that underneath it all, I was still a pissed off and pained little child that was screaming for self-love, attention and support. I was mad at what I couldn’t create in my life and was not able to see the way through.

I needed to make some real bold changes.

I had to take a stand for myself. I had been helping everyone but myself for too long.

I had to be willing to forgive, to commit to change, to create discipline and accountability. I had to truly love myself and take the time to do so.

What I realize now is that through this whole journey, I was being initiated into my sovereignty as a priestess!

I was being given my blueprint for my coaching programs, “Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive!”.

I just had to do the last final piece of really deep work!

If you are hitting up against walls, glass ceilings, money problems and not getting your relationships or work in alignment, what do you think is happening?

Is the world against you? NO. NO. NO!

Here’s something you don’t want to hear.

It’s your CHOICE to live there!!!! [Book a Power Priestess Session Now!]

It’s hard to create the abundant life that you imagine for yourself when old patterns and linked behaviors like procrastination, isolation, complacency, judgement, shame, guilt and fear are in the way.

Are you READY + WILLING to take the deep dive + heal?

What if you could up-level your personal + professional life through transformative self-care practices and discipline that work?

What if you could learn how to build your self-confidence and RECLAIM your POWER?

There is another side to your narratives and I know how to help you get there in a loving, compassionate way, with a proven methodology that works.

I have been helping hundreds + thousands of people heal over the last 15 years.

I have clients that have experienced such radical shifts that they CAN NOT EVEN IMAGINE their old lives after just 12 weeks!

They don’t even think the same way.

I’ve witnessed my clients experience radical shifts like leaving their big corporate job to follow their dreams; open new healing businesses; teach more classes when they had no voice; decide to divorce because their in a toxic situation; leave their parents’ home and live on their own; and move across states to be with a new love!

It’s amazing what you can do when you feel empowered, loved and supported.

When you have a cheerleader in life and you become the beginner again.

I didn’t believe I could shift all these things until I did it for myself.

Then I watched the synchronicities flow.

I watched my business thrive.

I created my coaching programs because I am so passionate about healing and helping people see the common pitfalls, roadblocks and dark nights as initiations on the yogic path of self-realization. And with a mentor its so much easier to navigate.

I combined my personal trauma-informed emotional healing work with some kick ass visionary and practical tools from both East and West.

You need to heal your internal environment before the external one comes into alignment.

When you align with your power to find your purpose.

And once you heal and find that purpose, and power is present – YOU FLY!

There is nothing stopping you from living the abundant and amazing life that you imagined for yourself! Truly.

Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive is a highly customized integrative online coaching and personal healing program that combines the ancient wisdom teachings of yoga, shamanism, reiki, and empowerment coaching for a full body-mind-spirit transformation.

I’ve got a few 1×1 coaching spots opening.

Book a Priestess Power Session Now!

With gratitude,
xo Nicole Doherty

 

“The program with Nicole, helped me to take the phrase “you can do anything you put your mind to” and shift it to not just words, but a deep seeded understanding that I can truly do anything I put my attitude to. The tools you equipped me with by being a reflection of my own power helped me to realize that I had that power all along. When I started the program I was insecure, codependent on a unhealthy relationship, and grieving the loss of my father. Now after having completed the program I feel truly free to use life, my mind, emotions, and body as tools to create the life of my dreams. Instead of being afraid of the dark parts of my past I can use them as tools to understand how I relate to life and not let them define me anymore. “~ Sarah Vale

 

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When will you stop hiding and playing small?

by Nicole's Blog

When will you stop hiding and playing small?

I want to tell you an inspiring story of my client Brandy.  Her willingness and curiosity gave way for deep healing, powerful transformation, and big shifts in her life.

Brandy called me to lose weight. She had been trying everything and someone said to try yoga.

As yoga teacher, energy medicine practitioner, holistic intuitive healer and coach, I told her that I look at all aspects of the body-mind system from an energetic perspective to see what’s collectively going on.

I told her that what was most interesting to me is what created the weight in the first place. I told her it wasn’t about losing the weight/lack mentality, but discovering the root cause of the condition.

Yoga asana is a great practice, but that’s not the only tool I would use to create mental shifts. Your life experiences and challenges can show up in any aspect of your being – physical, emotional, energetic and mental bodies.

What was at the root of this physical challenge for Brandy?

Brandy is a CFO of a Financial Institution. She’s got a big job and a lot of stress.

The weight gain was partially office habits and eating out, but it all started after her early childhood trauma. The only way she knew how to protect herself from the pain she was feeling was to pack on layers of protection and hide her shame and guilt underneath it.

This hiding was a familiar family pattern of escapism.

Food was a way to deal with her emotions and it was the only way her family knew how to continue to connect.

Here’s what she learned in the “Unleash the Priestess Within” 12-week program:

“My initial intention for coaching was with the goal of diet/food. I realized through the program that there were emotional and mental barriers that were much deeper that were the core issues.

I was hiding my power behind my pain and weight.

I began a meditation practice and now I meditate 15 – 45 min a day. This is one of the most impactful parts of the coaching for me!

Now, I am aware of my emotions and subconscious programming and how that affects my choices. I am now more conscious about everything in my life.

I know what I desire. I am visioning in all categories of my life and how they relate to my purpose.

I feel more trusting and safe around people and with myself and my intuition.

I can find compassion and forgiveness.

I have a much deeper connection to Spirit and my guides.

My experience with Nicole has greatly improved my life in many ways!”

She realized after these revelations that she could take better care of herself. That she could forgive and let go.  That she could shift her experience around food.

 

Not only is she losing weight naturally without that being the focus, she quit her job and started her own company not only a few weeks after we completed our 12 weeks together!

She had found the confidence and internal power again to create real change and align with her purpose!

She went through some major transformation after breaking through this core wounding pattern of hiding.

No more hiding.

She’s out in the world and aligned with her soul’s mission!

Find out how you might be hiding so you can live your purpose!  It’s time to stop playing small and live your dreams. Contact me for an opportunity to learn more about coaching and how my healing process works.

“Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive” is a highly customized integrative online coaching and personal healing program that combines the ancient wisdom teachings of yoga, shamanism, reiki, and empowerment coaching for a full body-mind-spirit transformation.

Breakthrough your limiting beliefs, unleash your priestess power and share your healing gifts with the world!!!!

Claim your priestess power and CONTACT ME for a free call!

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5 Keys to Building Your Confidence + Self-Worth!

by Nicole's Blog

“I want to build my confidence and self-worth. I want to step into my power.”

 

I hear this quite often in my coaching practice (that might be obvious as an empowerment coach!).

And, you deeply suffer in this area of understanding your value.

You may feel emotions that trigger self-hatred, self-sabotage and other destructive patterns.

It’s hard to create an abundant life that you imagine for yourself when these old patterns and linked behaviors, like procrastination, isolation, disorganization, complacency, judgement, guilt, fear, etc. are in the way.

You may not understand how to shift this.

Can you relate?

 

As an empowerment coach and entrepreneur, I coach women specifically around this issue because it’s a NECESSITY to creating a CAREER + LIFE filled with PURPOSE + POWER!

Your confidence leads you to your purpose. Your purpose feeds your confidence.

 

If we have thought patterns running in the background that we are not aware of or don’t have tools to shift, these programs will take you out of your center and you will fulfill the prophecy that you had for yourself – failure (because you just aren’t worth it anyway)!

What if you could learn ways to deprogram these unhealthy patterns from your lineage, change your thoughts and manage your life more effectively?

 

5 Keys to building your confidence + self worth through understanding:

1. Locate in your childhood when you remember that deep feeling of dis-empowerment, like you were not important, enough or valued. This is a core wound/deep imprint.

2. What emotion is locked up around it? It could be many like: sadness, fear, grief, loneliness, etc.

3. What belief system did you create around this event about yourself and the others around you? For example: No one cares about me, I’ll never fulfill my dreams, I don’t have what it takes, etc.

4. What story do you hold about yourself that creates the lack of confidence or value?

5. What behaviors do you have as a result of these belief systems and stories that you hold about yourself?

 

After you understand the above 5 keys (which in my Unleash the Priestess Within Program are part of what I call the Priestess Power Healing Process), you’re on the way to healing your self-worth issues.

Understanding these things about yourself will bring you the awareness of what you need to heal and work on.

From here, there are many processes to help release these emotional roots of the trauma.

 

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Transformational Coaching Process

The transformational coaching process that I have found extremely effective is a combination of knowledge base in somatic + hypnotherapy, trauma-informed emotional healing techniques, ancient yogic wisdom, the architecture of the chakra energy system, and the ego addiction behaviors of the victim-marytr-persector-rescuer roles.

I pair all this with energy healing work, breathwork techniques, drum journeys, guided meditation, medicine songs, mantras and self-reflective journaling processes.

We start at birth and we weave your stories through the fabric of time and see how they have mutated into the belief systems and behaviors that you currently hold.

Then, we go “non-linear” on them!

We unravel the emotional hooks that remain in the body-emotional-mind system to re-program the neural pathways and change your experience and pop you awake!

 

It’s deep medicine. What could you do if you truly believed in yourself?

 

If you would like to learn how to change your thoughts and belief systems, ask for a support + tools!

I serve to empower you — sign up for a FREE 45 min coaching session.

I will take you through a process to show you where your power is blocked + why.

I promise it will be one of the most revealing calls you’ve ever experienced.

 

P.S. Join my free, private Facebook group #unleashthepriestess (this one is for women only, sorry beautiful masculine) to connect with other women who are empowering each other to evolve and thrive by sharing their deep healing processes!

 

Infinite blessings,
Nicole

“Our power to manifest is equal to our power to generate our own evolution.”
– Claire Zammit