The Hidden Ego Attachment to Living a Life of Service • Nicole Doherty Ananda

Let’s be honest.

Do you find yourself feeling depleted, overwhelmed, and piling up the resentments?

Are you often busy and overextended and not finding time for yourself?

Are you people pleasing and not holding healthy boundaries for yourself?

If you are saying yes, you are in the shadow behavior of the people pleaser.

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PEOPLE PLEASING + RESCUING + BOUNDARIES!

I truly get this. I grew up a people pleaser. I always had an inclination to help.

I wanted to ensure that my parents and all those around me were happy and would often bypass my own intuition, needs and feelings to ensure that everyone else was OK.

I also had pain associated with it as well. I wanted to do the “right thing” as a kid because punishment could feel so severe. And, my parents didn’t do anything for themselves, classic case of self-care is selfish, as labeled by their religious views.

Later I discovered, I was very attached to this way of being, and would bend over backwards in my relationships to make sure the other person was happy and started to feel like I was responsible for their happiness.

I had very little concept of boundaries and as time went on, I became angry, resentful, depleted and unhappy.

So I found yoga, healing work, teaching and coaching and began my journey of forgiveness. I wanted to figure out how I could help and FEEL GOOD about it.

I’ve learned a lot of tools in my 15-year journey in the wellness industry.

My tools deepened when I really began to explore the 4 Shadow Behaviors that I play with in my coaching programs – Victim, Martyr, Persecutor and Rescuer.

This people pleasing behavior is what is called the ‘RESCUER’ role.

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Through my clients I’ve discovered that many yogis, teachers, healers are people pleasers.

People pleasers love people, YET they may not have explored the depth of the “rescuer” within themselves and their unhealthy attachments to their service.

A few years ago I found myself deep in the ‘RESCUER’ role.

I became a new mom.

I was a rescuer for most of my life – and motherhood amplified it.

I found myself in another toxic relationship too and thought, whoa, that’s just my “lot” in life. I was feeling depleted, exhausted, overwhelmed and depressed like I had seriously lost myself.

Whoa!!!! Victim/Martyr!!!!

I heard that loud call for the deepest layers of healing and awakening after the initiation of motherhood!

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What I discovered in My Journey

My Ego’s Addiction to Rescuing!

My inner child people pleases and avoids conflict at all cost because my nervous system is reminded of how horrible it is to be living under a roof of arguments and yelling.

I would say “Yes” because that was my coping strategy and “No” because I didn’t want to be punished and had fear of rejection.

So my whole life’s escape route was a series of loose boundaries, letting others go before me, and hiding amidst the shadows of the wounded healer.

All the while feeling despair underneath.

I had so many resentments piling up!

I finally learned the full truth when I was stopped by two things:

My separation + becoming a single mom
My overall health + wellness

I’m grateful for these wake up calls because it led me to some of the deepest systemic + integrative healing I’ve encountered.

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5 Big Things I Discovered

• Detoxes!!! I went on a deep dive into healing my body and had a lot of trapped old energy and stagnation regarding my childhood. I detoxed through different modalities over 6 times that year and although I have been drug + alcohol free for over 10 years, I had still other addictive tendencies in my body.

• Boundaries: I learned how to create very clear and strong boundaries for myself based on my own needs and my priorities. I had no choice but to learn how to say no and be very precise about what my body, energy and mind needed because of my health and well being.

• Self-Responsibility: As a single mom, I had to review all the ways in which I was responsible for my breakup – I was controlling my surroundings to avoid conflict. Feedback was met with pain vs feminine power. I played my role with unconscious patterning from my parental modeling.

• How to Listen to My Intuition: I learned I was disregarding my intuition, bypassing my impulses and suppressing my voice in that relationship because I was so scared and fearful of what others would say (society, parents, etc). I was scared I would be hurt and didn’t feel safe. I was suppressing my voice out of fear.

• Self-care is a Priority. These affect everything, especially as a Mom. NO AMOUNT OF RESCUING can prove my worth. I need to love myself. I got so sick I couldn’t even take care of my child. So I could feel the detriment of rescuing.

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What Truth Was Revealed at the Core (versus a mental level of awareness)

Having differences doesn’t mean I am wrong or at fault. Differences are simply different lens of experience. It’s our choice how we want to respond and if they are big enough to make changes. I learned I am not trapped but in choice!
Conflict can be managed and negotiated in a compassionate, loving way. I don’t need to have screaming matches, knock-down arguments, shame/blame or hurt to be right or justified. Thank you for the years of non-violent communication and conscious communication techniques.
My little girl’s pain can not be hidden underneath other people’s issues and challenges. She needs to be seen, heard and loved too. I am worthy and important.
Forgiveness and compassion are available to me always and are a daily practice.
Self-care, awareness and acceptance bring me into Self-Love and Intimacy.

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I feel like myself again AND SO EMPOWERED!

If you can relate to any of this at ALL…

Now, I have a FIERCE understanding about this RESCUER ego addiction.

I see it magnified and how women hide in it.

I see and feel how prevalent it is in society and how this is one of the KEYS to Women’s Empowerment.

I am so passionate about empowering women to unlock this part of themselves which is so deeply ingrained and programmed through society!

I work every day with women on how they express their needs and create much stronger boundaries.

I help women get their needs met, open their voices and work their truth in a Divine Feminine way – still being nurturers and caretakers.

We are in this together ladies. 🙌 Let’s do this!

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As for your BOUNDARIES….HERE IS A GREAT MANTRA!!!

I’ll guide you to focus on what serves your highest good and create a plan to help make it a reality!

If you feel this reach out for support..you don’t need to rescue anyone but yourself!

Book “The Priestess Power Plan” 1 hour strategy session!

It’s worth a few big breakthroughs…

The benefits of this session are to:

Find clarity for your vision
Come clean with what’s stopping you
Learn how healing relates to your power. passion and purpose
Understand “The 7 Keys to Your Priestess Power”
Introduce “The Priestess Power Healing Process”
Learn the program details

I take on limited 1 x1 coaching clients for my Unleash the Priestess Within + Thrive community to thrive + reclaim your power!

Imagine what you could be doing with all this transformation on your horizon!

I’ve been doing professional shamanic healing work for over a decade now. I’ve participated in hundreds of medicine ceremonies and all of my programs emulate the processes of that work. I’ve ushered thousands of women over 15 years through their awakenings as a Certified Women’s Empowerment Coach, Reiki Master Intuitive Healer, 500 E-RYT Yoga Teacher Trainer, 20 + year Yogi, Transformational Breathwork Facilitator, Medicine Woman and Mama.

Are you ready to commit to BIG BREAKTHROUGHS?